Unveiling the mystery of: Love - Attraction  Endings - Beginnings

This is the cycle and purpose of life!

This information comes from the highest source in the universe - God, thru me in an attempt to understand  myself and the ongoing experience of Self evolution:

Our physical bodies, our thoughts, and our soul are all energy.  Energy is the creative (as well as destructive) force of nature.  All energy has a rate of vibration, a frequency level it sends out signals at, very much like radio waves.  When we as humans need something within our lives to help us along our journey of remembering who we really are, we will start sending out signals (often unconsciously) to bring that experience towards us.  The soul purpose of this page is to talk about love.  Falling in and out of love.  So that is my focus when talking of this particular energy.  But really you can switch out relationship energy to anything that seems to suddenly come into your world or suddenly move out, or even seems stagnant in your life.  We tend to want to hang onto what we have in this physical life even when it is no longer serving our higher agenda or bringing us joy.  I do want to add this little note that when we deny our Self’s, turn away from the soul prompting of life that is where the energy of sickness and dysfunction appear, to help us realize we are not doing what we need to do as a soul in a physical body.  Like I said earlier, our bodies are the soul’s greatest tool.

Once you fully remember who you are in your physical body the game becomes even more intense.  Once you fully realize you are not the human being you always thought you were, that the physical make up is a tool to use for the human experience ohhh my the magic, the wonder that arrives at your new found doorstep of life.

We are truly spiritual beings, incarnating with purpose.  Once we realize we are not the human body but we are divine creators using a human body for the physical experience the game completely changes its hue.  

We realize how much power we always have had, that we are the creators of the creation in our worlds, we also realize that with just one single solitary thought we create the world we experience.  When this thought is combined or united with another’s thought that is vibrating at our rate of speed, the power of that thought intensifies so rapidly that it creates itself even faster than when it was a single thought.

The power we have within each of us at every given moment in time is absolutely Godly.  When we take the time and effort to remember this, to look a little deeper into who we really are and our role in the life we have created, miracles take place.  In an instant you can change your life.  


Why do we fall in love... and why do we fall out of love?

Our soul journey into the physical is to re-member who we are. That's it.. the big mystery of life (smile). As we move thru this crazy little thing we call life... every person, every experience... every breath is there to help you re-member you are... and who you want to be. Even the most unconscious person is going thru this process -- everyone is.

We attract into our Oneness of being people who will help us understand ourselves more intimately; who will help us to re-member who we are and what we are capable of. They too are seeking the same thing and then worlds collide..

And the union is formed... and each breath you take together brings you into an even greater expansion of Who you.. individually and together (since we are not separate to begin with). The more you learn of who you are... the more you want to know more about yourself... and this continues for ever. 

When two people come together and are continually learning, expanding, seeking in that Oneness of each other... the moments never fade.. they become grander... and deeper awareness of the soul is revealed in each expanded breath together...

When one person stops expanding... becomes comfortable in a space and does not wish to seek further... the chemical reaction that created this Holy Union... starts to change. The chemical reaction of the intense learning together was put to a halt... and so the counter part will react to that...

And the expanded energy fields of the Oneness (two people in a relationship) start to disconnect... one retracts so much the other can no longer feel their Oneness.... the union in which the relationship started.

And the expanded one, still wishing to know oneself fully... starts sending out signals to the next one who will help them further realize their Oneness...

And the once intense relationship has what we call become broken... separate.. because one stopped seeking to know themselves on a higher level.... they became comfortable with their present moment... and now that energy must seek out its counterpart and remove itself from the expanded energy

This is not to be looked at as right or wrong, good or bad... it simply is. Perhaps the only way one can truly experience themselves fully... in re-membering who they are.. is with another... the first relationship has gone as far as it could go... 

We try and live in such a restricted world and become entangled in the miss-guided teachings that love is forever... which it is... but the experience of Self Realization is an ongoing process... and will always seek a higher union with Self.


My personal experiences & understandings of those experiences:

Every person on the face of this planet incarnated to go thru a chain of processes that is geared to help him or her remember who they really are (spirit/god) in a physical body. These processes take lifetimes one building on each other until we master the process... and believe it or not... once we master the process... we start all over again... but that is a whole different post  

Everything in our lives... EVERYTHING is here to help us remember who we truly are. Every up and down we experience we brought to our lives to help us with the task at hand... re-membering.

Relationships serve that very same thing...

They help us remember who we really are and we attract to ourselves (start sending outward waves of vibrations that another or sometimes.. others (plural) pick up on and together we start moving towards each other... because as I said earlier... we are all doing the same thing... everyone of us has the same mission here on earth whether conscious of it or not... to remember who we are and all we are capable of being who we really are.

Living in a world of like attracts like... and I will use myself in these examples... god knows I have immersed myself in every possible energy vibration lol.

When I was a single mom of 2 children living on welfare at age 24... all I really wanted in my life was someone to give me and my kids some security. A nice home, stable life... and some love. Unconsciously (I had no real idea why I wanted this... I just thought it was because I was tired of struggling)... I brought the part of my life that was remembering who I really was in that way (on welfare in poverty and single with children) as far as I could in my remembering process... and started sending out waves to attract the next process of my life. 

I could only attract at that time someone (or some ones) who vibrated at my level of being. I was highly insecure, self loathing, and felt like life owed me something... and owed my children something.

In that moment of time... I attracted 3 men into my life. I dated them all at the same time. Widdling them down one by one as I learned what I could from them (in my own unconscious remembering process) and then settled for one of the 3 to be my life partner. He was my exact vibration double in those moments.

He was highly insecure, self loathing, and thought life owed him something. Together we feel madly in love. My vibration met and united with his vibration and became one vibration... for the experience at hand... which was for each of us to remember (even if the remembering process is completely unconscious) who we are... and the chemical reaction of that attraction happened.. our molecules rearranged each other so that we would feel in-love we would be in the presence of love with each other. And man oh man.. we were that! Madly in love. And we served each others processes very well. Even though neither of us consciously had a clue what was really happening (we only looked at life thru the physical eyes and looked no further than that..) we embarked on a life together... we got married... both bringing each other the experiences of the union of our two energetic bodies of soul discovery. Enhance each others life’s thru our combined experiences and expressions of ourselves in each moment.

4 years into our union (from the time we met each other, not married each other... we got married 2.5 years after we met, though we lived with each other 2 months after we met) we created a baby together. For me, this was no ordinary baby. She knocked so very loudly on the door I placed a "closed for life" sign on. My desires became so strong to have a baby that I took steps (completely in private and without his knowing) to make sure I became pregnant.

What I didn't realize then... but do now... was my then unborn daughter was coming into my life to put me on the next phase of my remembering process... for Eddie and I have come to a place where we were no longer aiding each other in our remembering process.... we simply just enjoyed the union we had...

The day Valorie was born (this was something I could not understand for 16 years... and bothered me sooo very much until yesterday).... I feel out of love with my husband. It was like all of a sudden I woke up one day and wham... no in love place with him any more. I still loved him... but was not in that place of love with him as a unified being on her remembering process. 

Valorie (my daughter) brought more into my life than my conscious mind could have ever realized in those moments... and the 16 years of moments that went by...

I started looking upward (although by how I do that now, was only slightly).... I was so amazed at how badly my whole being wanted a baby... when I knew just months before I never wanted another baby in this natural lifetime... the feeling was overwhelming... insistent and had to be followed thru with or I think I would have gone mad.

I started to "wonder" how this could happen... the more I wondered (wanted to learn more about who I was and now who I am becoming in the process) the less my husband served my purpose. He was not looking higher... he was in a space of contentedness in his life. 

Do not look at this as bad or good... it is neither. He was very happy with where he was in his life.. in his remembering process. I was not...Valorie changed my entire molecular structure and my vibration started seeking again... putting itself into motion....

But, I was married... and faithful to the vows I took within that marriage ceremony... and felt trapped in this place. I could not understand how I could be madly in love with a man for 4 years.. then wake up one day... and that love be completely gone... or to me felt completely gone (and I am speaking of that being in love... in the presence of the loving union we created within each other). So desperate was I in this search for trying to re-unite with his energy I became highly depressed... even put myself into a psych hospital to try and figure it out.. didn't work... everyone was looking into my physical world and not my spiritual world.. which is the core of who I Am and where I am heading.

My vibration no longer matched Eddies... the moment I looked higher... my vibration (energy) retracted from his, (who was not looking anywhere, but content with where he was and what he had remembered about himself to now)...

So you can look at it as my energy removed itself from his... the union of being in his loving presence no longer served my process... which has always been... remembering who I really Am. (and this is a process every single one of us are in.. from the first breath of life... our life’s journey is completely Self Centered... we have just gotten confused, which makes the journey harder... that we are here for others... we are not, not in the sense of remembering... others will come and go as we move thru our own processes and we fill each others needs of remembering who we are).

For 4 years I was in total conflict within myself... I was true to my vows of marriage... but so damn unhappy in my soul. I felt like I was suffocating... and could not understand why. I so desperately wanted to be in that union of in love with him again... for the sake of my marriage and children. 

Please don't think I stopped loving him... not at all... once love is created.. united.. it remains forever. I just could not find that union that was once so strong with our souls... 

We filed for divorce... he moved out of state.... I felt free! I went on a dating spree... was remembering to beat the band (grin)... and having fun with a lot of momentary relationships  

Keeping in mind our physical beings... are really creatures of habit. The holidays came around (about 7 months into our separation) and I started missing the 8 Christmases we spent together as a family.. the joy and love that was shared with each other during this season... I did not find anyone to really bring me to myself during those 7 months... except those momentary times of union....

And I choose to give into those habitual impulses.. to be in a relationship of security... and I went where I was familiar... he I moved back in together. He was very happy (he never wanted this separation to begin with... I could be rather demanding though.. and will win).

I was less than happy. What I thought I wanted... I realized more intently with our moving back in together... was far from what my soul wanted. I was more unhappy than before we separated. The more I tried to force this re-union the more miserable I became... I was no longer suffocating I was dying inside. He was no different than the day we separated. Even though we moved in together again with clear understandings of the changes that had to be... they never happened... he was a creature of habit... and was actually quite happy with where he was in life... and we reunited into the same thing that drove us apart... we had no union of soul... just of habit.

Out of the blue... on impulse that I never thought out the moment before... I drove to my attorneys office and filed for divorce again... something in me, in that moment of filing... felt free again! I could breathe again!! I no longer even cared about trying to force this love with him...

Our molecular structures were so different... we were on different parts of our life’s journey... the process of remembering who we are and what we are capable of in human form that we could never unite at the place we once came together in... for we fulfilled what we needed to in each other... and it was time to continue our journey of remembering with others.

(Our marriage vows can be so damaging to us and I will never do that to my Self again... not in that way!)

I divorced him 11 years ago... and over that time attracted to me various partners who took me yet to another level of being.. of remembering who I was.. in bringing out various parts of my sparkle (and of course I them... nothing is ever one way, but in this thing called life... it really is all about Us, all about Me and my process of remembering. I must always serve my soul needs first and foremost and trust those inner prompting's/chemical changes to move me along my own path of Self re-membering).

Today... I am a completely different person in mind, soul and deed than I was back then... it is like the Lisa most people knew for 38+ years... left the building. She changed so completely so utterly... that she is but a fond memory of my own life's experience.

I am no longer in chaos, nor insecure... I do not seek outside of myself for what I wish to remember. Although, I do know in this present moment of my time.. in order to FULLY remember and bring in the experience of that re-membering with absolute feeling... I must attract someone else into my life for the process to continue and enhance itself. Someone who is equally in the same space as me... with the same vibration and desire as me.. so that our union... our re-membering process will bring out the very things we both desire.. to be whole and united within ourselves... and a compliment to each other so that we may continually bring each other to that place within our selves... thru the re-union of our souls.. of being in the presence of love.

The moment Frank (my present relationship) called me the first time (and his phone call was prompted souly as a business thing with interest in my magazine)... I could feel my molecular structure change. Each time his voice vibrated across the phone lines to my being.. I could feel my own energy lifting higher.. expanding.. combining with his with excitement. 

Each phone call brought it to higher levels.

Because of who I Am in this present moment and the Awareness I have come to... I can see within myself... and know what is happening. I could actually see the chemical exchange... my molecules rearranging each other so our vibrations were in harmony... I called this process.. falling in love... The process was happening... was rearranging our very beings... the cells of our bodies... the processes of our minds and hearts... and creating the desire of a re-union of soul energy... so that we may both experience what we brought to ourselves... our own re-membering of who we are.

Now to touch on the power of our creation. I told God in August 2006 I was done doing this journey alone. I have been a dedicated student for 6+ years.. a soul-o journey at that. I knew I brought myself as far as I could within myself alone. It was now time for someone to join me so I could experience what I needed in a conjoined journey and fulfil what gods will is with me.. thru a union.

God wasted no time (smile)... and me being god and knowing exactly what I wanted and needed... brought him to me... and he knowing what he wanted and needed... felt my energy waves of calling... and found me on this planet.... thru my magazine. The moment he read that magazine... he felt my vibration... he felt something in his soul that wanted him to know more...

And here we are now... both on a very beautiful and rather intense journey of re-membering who we are thru each other.

I do want to add this note about my last (and only 2nd meeting with him this past week)... I never felt more open... more in a place of divinity with another human being ever in my life.

Even though the conversation was mostly about my journey and what brought me to here... and his journey and what brought him to here... we both were immersed in a space that was so high above the human realm. We were vibrating at rates of speed with each other... with what was happening with our physical re-union of self... Not once did I ever think to be reserved.. to not fully show myself to him... to feel bad about anything.. to think of maybe I was talking to much (or any of those feelings we get when we are wanting this newly emerging relationship to go to the next level... and to be clear... the level that we seek is physical union... aka sex). We even talked about that... the desire... the is it right question to be feeling this way... it was amazingly open... loving... at the highest and most humbling vibration I have ever experienced with another human being in all my physical life.

With being in that state of Self Awareness has opened me to a whole higher level of Being. Of understanding the human and soul process as one conjoined effort... and the possibilities that exist within that re-union... and my heart pitter patters with intense excitement... and knowing it will soon Experience Awareness with feeling and understanding...

And the journey ended eventually.  It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced within myself!!