Just a Personal Update...

moving update.jpg

I just wanted to make sure I gave everyone an update on what happening in my crazy ass world. I opened up my mouth to say hello to my first appointment on the 20th and started coughing my butt off to the point, my voice left the building… again. It went downhill from there. I finally brought my sorry self to the ER two nights ago, nothing is helping me improve. I have all the meds needed to kick bronchitis to the curb and yet, nothing was helping in any way. Not to mention, this move week, but my physical body moving at all put me into such lung spasms its not even funny. So my week of production is lost on both ends, I have had to reschedule every single reading this week and continue to and the packing that should have been done by now, isn’t.

My ER visit was the best thing I could have done. Not that anything has improved in my lungs since being there, not at all. But, the doctor that seen me for the first 10 minutes I was there, was my angel really. I got there just before shift change and that was my good karma. This doc ordered 5 different blood tests to find out why my meds are not working. What I didn’t realize is that one of the blood tests he ordered was to check on a possibility of a blood clot. Of course, he also ordered a chest x-ray, which came back clear. The blood test for the clot came back off the charts high. By this time there was already a staff change, which gave me a new doc. He poo pooed the blood clot test off, saying he didn’t think that was causing my respiratory distress (which, neither did I really) but ordered a CT scan with contrast. Every cell in my body was doing the happy dance. I wanted my lung specialist to order this for me, instead I got a CT scan without contrast which showed my lungs perfectly clear, in complete contrast to the ongoing CT scans my oncologist had been following with the nodule on my lung.

Well, the ER CT scan shows changes to that nodule and it has become bigger. My respiratory distress is in the upper lungs where that nodule is.

The doc said that the blood clot test might have come back high due to the meds I was already taking. Nah, I’ve been suspecting a clot in my left leg for some time now. He didn’t need to know that tho. I am not dealing with any of this here in Texas, but will the moment I get to Virginia.

I am praying that Virginia gives me state health insurance. Not having insurance is one of the biggest reasons I haven’t pushed my lung doc for more tests. I have spent all my savings, maxed out every credit card I have to get the tests ordered from him and my rheumatologist. Couple that with all the rescheduling I have had to do, not because I am sick but the field is so intensely intense (smile) with changing energies, that it is like a massive perfect storm in my financial sector. So I have had to cut out some things, food, which I don’t have the energy to cook anyway, nor the ability to eat. I take a couple bites of anything and I am full. I have lost 25 pounds in the last 2 months, which I kind of like, but would be better if it was my intention.

I will be putting a call into my lung specialist on Monday. He has done me so wrong, and I am sure, others too. I tried to explain to him on several different appointments about what my oncologist was watching with the CT scans and that the non contrast scan was wrong. He insisted I was wrong. The lack of money and really not wanting to deal with another possible cancer journey, kept my paddles in the river of denial. But I know my body, I know its communication and I buried my head anyway.

I also pay attention to all the messages coming out of the field, especially the ones focused on the energy and how it is affecting our physical biology.

My two kids in Virginia had no idea what was going on with me. I purposely kept them out of my loop this week so not to stress them out, cuz man they stress about me, fast. Until I decided it was getting time to go to the ER, and keeping everyone updated on my progress (or lack there of) on facebook.

My freakin son, when I was simply THINKING about going to the ER had a melt down, called my daughter up the street, called the hospital itself, several times, if he had my physical address, would have called 911 to get my ass to the hospital. The ER nurse to me how upset my son was and so worried and even the nurse gave me hell on waiting so long to come in. Hey, life without insurance… ya know!! That hospital is already suing me for unpaid medical bills.

Then my very pregnant daughter gets on her band wagon, wanting to hire a company to finish my pack out and send her husband here to drive me to Virginia. I have raised the most freakin stubborn kids in the world. Valorie was relentless, as was alex, mostly due to the stress val was now in and her crying cuz she is worried about me. I compromised with them, alex will be flying in to Texas on the evening of the 30th to drive me to Virginia so I don’t have to travel alone. My daughter up the street has avoided helping me for months, emotionally and physically. I am actually now grateful to be going to a world where I am going to have the emotional support I am going to need, in person, if what I feel is happening inside this crazy body of mine, is true.

So I will be on the road as soon as I do the walk thru with my landlord and get my deposit back. I should arrive in Virginia the 1st or 2nd, depending on how well I can sit in a car for long periods of time and if my converter will power up my nebulizer.

That is my update. Please please do not send me a bunch of emails advising this or that mixture or remedy or what to do. I know the place of love you send it from, but it is all overwhelming and just too much. Just send comforting energy as I make my way to Virginia to the next phase of my life’s journey and our adventures together, there!!

Because I am still in respiratory distress, I am going to be sending an email to my folks scheduled tomorrow and Tuesday to reschedule into November. Also, I must go to the airport to pick up Alex Tuesday night, so we will not be having class. I will make this all up to everyone when I get to Virginia. I already have ideas being downloaded, I just don’t have the energy to put anything in motion yet.

I love you all soul much and so appreciate you in my world and your ongoing bobbing and weaving with my scheduling.

Big big ((((HUGZ)))) of new energy, new life, and the bounty of joyful love to and thru ALL!!

Lisa Gawlas

Lisa Gawlas3 Comments