Bringing it all together... Walking the Path of Ascension
An (uncomfortable) understanding of my life's path.By Lisa Gawlas(Click here understand "where to start.")
Today we live in what can easily be called information overload. Anyone with a computer can write and publish a book, write a blog, send out podcasts and video casts that it really becomes hard to discern what is truth and what is pure BS.
When I started this path 11 years ago, I so wanted to take a course, attend a seminar or workshop anything other than "just meditate". I always felt it would be so much easier to hear what worked for someone else, and try it for myself, or at least understand what they may understand about this crazy path called spiritual awakening. I was so purposely blocked from ever ever ever exploring any of those avenues of learning/understanding and it would really get me mad. Even the books that I read were hand picked by Spirit, when I picked something I wanted to read, they (my spiritual team) either blurred my vision so bad I couldn't read it, or scramble my brains so I couldn't understand it, or just simply get rid of it so I couldn't find it. It wasn't until the last few years did I really understand why.
When a spiritual being says you are going to be filled with the truth of spirit.... ummmmm, I have learned, they mean just that. The only things I got to read where books that validated the information I was receiving in meditation(s). Even when I wanted to learn special techniques such as cranioscaral and had the money, the class fell apart and didn't get started. I was so frustrated for years.
But now I really see all that is out there and how much inaccurate that information is for the most part, I don't think as a beginner even 2-3 years into my "understandings" could I have been able to really discern what is truth or what someone wants to market as true. I do now tho. What I know now, I know from the deepest and most ancient part of my soul.
I learned everything I am going to share with you by walking my path deep within myself and alone except the friendship, beauty, love and guidance of the unseen world I now simply refer to as "spirit" (well my daughter came along as an unwilling participant lol.)
I have my beginning stages of this path threaded all over this website, so I am going to share the rest of my story here...
After I became pretty good at meditation, I knew the next thing I had to do was heal a whole lot of issues. Thru a lot of inner child work, I began to see a bigger picture within myself. I started to feel ohhh so much better, my fits of rage were subsiding... I even started to go out of the house (after a 3 month self-imposed hiatus due to depression). Then one day (about 5 months into my journey) something strange happened...
As soon as I put my body in the water it was like all of a sudden I was plugged into this incredible sexual sensation that was uncontrollable! I was shocked, I was ashamed (thinking surely I just brought my holy place - my bath meditations, into the gutter. I got out of the bath, waited a little while (until all arousal went away) went back into the bath... same thing happened. The sexual feeling was so strong I could have did it with the tub facet. I tried this several times over the next couple of days always with the same result. I was utterly perplexed and missing meditation!
My mentor lived in Australia (I was in North Carolina) so we were on the opposite ends of the day... but when I desperately needed him, he was always there on the computer expecting me. I was so grateful! I told him that I did something wrong somewhere, that now I perverted my meditation place. He asked me if I knew anything about Kundalini, I said, ummmm clueless here. He told me to go look it up (great guy!) and also gave me the symbol Ankh (which I equally had to go look up) and told me it will help with the Kundalini. Huh?
If you are unfamiliar with kundalini just click here to read more. Well it seemed, as much as I didn't want to be all kinds of horny in my bath, I had no choice, my body was more in control than I could have ever hoped to be. So I called on my team and and asked them what to do... and they said to start to pull it up your body.... so I asked... can I use my hands (smile, blush).... but of course I could they said. Yay!!??
The one thing I could tell you, for as difficult as getting that feeling of arousal out of the root chakra and up into the sacral chakra was, it was much more enjoyable than healing that inner child!! I was now having the most incredible sensations with my body. I somehow knew that that Kundalini energy had to work its way up and out my head.... I was in overtime!!
was in the bath for hours on end, sometimes as often as 5 times a day (hey I was now on an incredibly enjoyable mission lol). I was instructed not to move it up to my next chakra until I could easily move and orgasm thru the one I was working on. The time in-between chakra's became longer and longer because (alto I didn't know it at the time) I was actually raising my own human vibration higher and higher. It took me about 2. maybe 3 months to get to the point of being able to bring my Kundalini energy up into my head (a feeling I hope each and every one of you experiences at least once in this lifetime - holy cow batman!!!!!) and releasing the energy out the crown chakra.... wooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooo. You really could have a head orgasm, and the feeling is indescribable!!
So then I was asked to move the energy up thru my body and release it out my head with no hands.... I thought, is that even human possible?? Ummm, let me assure you... it is!!!!! (grin)
I didn't realize what I was really doing within my body, within my life... I was simply on an amazing journey thru sight, sound and the most incredible feeling I never thought possible!! My health was returning, my temper was leaving, my joy was becoming light and constant... holy cow, I was even getting happy (after 30years of manic depression, this alone was a reason to celebrate). I totally understand sexual healing now.... and it is a self imposed, self explored journey!!!
So now what... it wasn't like that was my shut off valve... I was still getting into the tub and getting turned on. What more could I possibly do with this incredible energy? Ask and you shall receive.... my mentors energy showed up. Now he had already verbally told me I could do anything I wanted, in anyway at any time in my meditations with him and his higher self... I guess hanging out and trying on his kundalini was an unspoken go ahead with it all. And it all took on a life of its own. I would watch and feel his kundalini jump in and out of each of my chakra's (I seen each of ours as serpents, since that was what I was told it was like.. coiled serpents at the base of the spine). My serpent was a beautiful translucent rainbow color, his an amazing white. Woooo Weezers... I wish I would have signed up for this spiritual class decades sooner!! I never knew the body could feel so much sensation in so many different places.... (did I have a clue what it all meant... nope, I was there for the wild and amazing ride.)
Now when I was doing all this kundalini exchanging work, I was starting to get really demanding to my spiritual team to meet this man. If he was that good in meditation, I could only imagine what real life would be like. They always assured me "when the time is right, you will meet". Yeah right, between us we didn't have 50 cents to rub together... but, if they say so!!
Thru it all, my heart chakra opened... I fell in love with life! I fell in love with the birds, the trees, my desk, god knows my bathroom lol!! The people around me, I loved so much more deeper, and my mentor was getting a whole lotta love in so many different ways from me (grin) that I could have danced thru life forever.
Eventually the dance takes a pause for the cause... on to bigger and better things... not!! My journey eventually (about 9 months after my awakening) took me out of VA and into NC. Because of a reading I had recently had, I knew that the gal I was going to become a roommate with was a karmic relation, I wasn't really surprised (but lets not dismiss angry) when I became homeless. I eventually had to go thru the very cruel (and I mean that literally) Salvation Army Homeless Shelter in Chesapeake VA.
I was so mad at the universe for sending me there I went on a "spiritual strike" and didn't meditate for 1 full week (an eternity for me). Then someone said to me that maybe I am there to help someone.... ohhhhhh.... what a great idea!!?? Imagine something not being all about Lisa getting kicked in the hind end again, and maybe I can share a story, do some hypnosis, lend a hand. I am up for the adventure!! My anger turned into hope... but who. There were 9 families there so I went talking to everyone.
I was blessed, in this place, I had a working car. There was only 1 other family there that did, so I offered rides to anyone who needed them, since the one thing you could count on was this shelter not helping anyone there. They seemed there to simply put a roof over peoples heads, not to help them restart their lives. They didn't like my point of view (which I shared openly, nicely tho).
I found someone who really took an interest in my meditations and my conversations with my guides. She was an amazing woman. She had 5 kinds aged 11 thru 4 years old. One had cerebral palsy, one was autistic... and she went from her moms home to her husbands home to the salvation army. This charitable center threatened to kick Dee out if she didn't get her kids enrolled in school. Now she didn't drive, didn't have a car, had not the first dime to her name... and they gave out 2 bus tokens a day and refused to take her (or anyone) anywhere in the van that was always parked there. So I said, I will take you!! I have a car and gas, and a job that will allow me to take the time off to do this.
At the shelter, you are not allowed to miss work. That is a reason to be kicked out. I had to take 3 days off because she had 4 kids of school age and 3 of them in different schools. There was one other lady there in the same situation so we took her too. Now imagine this, I had an Olds Achieva and there were 3 grown adults and 5 kids all packed into this car. But.... we got the job done. All kids were enrolled in school and I got a 5 day notice to vacate!! lol, of course telling them they were discompassiate and uncaring didn't help my case, but by this time, I was so over being their. I lasted all of 5 weeks before getting kicked out (for helping someone to boot).
I had to eat humble pie and ask my ex inlaws for money to get somewhere to live. There was a really cheap hotel near the beach that was very affordable (it was now January 2002) because it was off season. They would let you live there until May. I will figure out the next move in May.
I got this way downscale hotel, that housed a lot of hmmmm what people would call undesirables in it. I feel in love. I talked to everyone, told everyone about my amazing journey. There was a man in particular that I became friends with. He had a crack problem, and a bad check writing problem and really wanted direction in his life. At that time in my journey, I knew so little (especially compared to today), but I would talk with him share with him the amazing things I knew. He would cry... I would listen. I never was scared of this place, not for me, nor for my (then) 11 year old.
Since by this time I was already learning so much healing work (thru meditation and on others) via Jesus, and all I wanted for my life was to help and heal people like Jesus did when he was alive, I figured I was in the best place I could be. Jesus always helped the downcast (from societies view). I had already worked thru unconditional love and non-judgement in my first year of this journey, so I never anyone as less than or more than me. We are all Gods children and we could all use a hug!
And then something incredible and amazing happened. Click here to read about my first "meeting" with God. About 2 hours after this meditation, Stashima came online to tell me something miraculous! I knew he was going on a trip to market himself, funded by investors who believed in his invention ability. He was supposed to go to S. Africa to meet with a manufacturer, then to Finland to meet with another one, then to Home Kong for a lay over then back to Sydney. He was so excited when he told me his layover in Hong Kong was changed to a layover in New York City!! How on earth..... no.... why on earth would that happen! They are going to take you half a world out of your direction for a lay over?? Ummm yeah and that lay over allowed him to lay over for 5 days without penalty!! Really?????????? Ohhh my God!! I was truly drooling and just about peeing my pants with excitement.
I was going to meet my mentor, who I was madly in love (or something like that lol) with. Now keep in mind, I was living in a very low budget hotel, my car was now acting up (I would later find my radiator blew... yeah can you say too much pent up emotion lol)... and I was meeting the God of my dreams (or something like that) and I am eating serious humble pie that is now my life. He didn't care.
I never ever knew the body could really act like a magnet. You know when you get two magnets together all they can do is pull towards each other. Oh my god the body is the same. I hugged him every time I passed by him (and in my little efficiency, that was a lot!) and then I was walk near him just to hug him (and man he was a great hugger)... but the strangest thing was about to happen at sleep time. My daughter gave up her bed and stayed on the tiny love seat sleeper sofa so he wasn't stuck on it. His bed was next to mine (you know the hotel layout of rooms)... and I literally had to hold my hands onto the mattress so my own physical body didn't go flying off onto his. It was quite the strangest sensation I have ever had.... I can honestly say I now know what it is like to be a magnet meetings its counterpart.
If you read the above link on my god meeting, you had read that during it my buddy (grumble grumble) the Blessed Mother showed up carrying a Lily and telling me "my proverbial son, your brother will be coming soon." I was like huh? Coming where? I had already been working in meditation with him for over a year. Was he coming into meditation, is there really going to be a 2nd coming (altho he already told me no that "he already walked that path and he doesn't have to walk it again") I was so confused.... and when my mentor told me he was going to be in my world, on my side of the beach in 2 weeks, now I really got confused. Was he Jesus? I mean he did show up in my dreams with Jesus (and that is my dream world not my meditation world)... how could I now possibly even think of having sex with Jesus. Bad enough I went thru the whole kundalini process in my sacred space... I couldn't do this, and god knows my body thought of nothing else!! It was vibrating at the speed of light, or maybe at the speed of him... especially at night, oh my god who knew we were able to feel feelings like this!!
He did bring me an amazing gift tho. He had said when he was in S. Africa he went past a vendor who was selling crystals, and this one crystal kept asking him to take it to me, so he did. It was an amazing smokey quartz filled with the most amazing trigonic markings everywhere.
I figured I would leave it up to him (and he was shyer than I was, not good!!)... 5 days of bliss and agony, and the all that I had hoped to experience ent home to Aussie land without so much as a really big kiss (but we shared about 5000 hugs and some really great laughs tho).
I didn't know what was right or what as not right. For as much as I wanted that experience, I didn't want to do anything that would have been wrong. I so honored spirit, my path, his path... and surely Jesus!! I just didn't want to do anything wrong. There was a time in my not to recent past, I would have jumped his bones in a minute... and now I had to muster more reserve than a body should ever have to do. It wasn't until recently did I read something thru the Great White Brotherhood that the path of ascension will give you many times where you have to make great sacrifices in order to move forward. When I read that, I knew in a moment that this moment in time, the moment I begged my guides to arrange for me (purely for the lust of it all really) was a massive sacrifice. I knew if I merged into his physical being, I could have touched heaven.... but lord knows I so was't physically or even consciously ready for that kind of experience. I didn't know in that moment (heck for years to come) that I had soooo much more to learn and understand about that kind of merger, that kind of experience and even what it means to us here on earth.
So I mourned my loss, licked my wounds and got to know the new friend that traveled all the way from S. Africa just to be with me. I knew this crystal was special because of it is markings. I just didn't realize how special.
Record Keepers and Trigonics are crystals that store sacred information within them. I was in for another adventure. This crystal allowed me to enter it, and the first journey it took me on was to MY LIFE in Atlantis.... and I was NOT nice. I was a high priestess that really knew how to work (and teach) the sexual energy power... and I used it to control and manipulate a lot of people and things. I was shocked! Me a bad girl??? But then again, that was the purpose of Atlantis; to learn all the things we are not, and what not to do, specifically for this very moment on earth. I assure you, I will never ever ever ever abuse energy, sexual or otherwise like that again. It did tremendous harm in many ways. I affirmed that to the universe in no uncertain terms.
It allowed me in again (my trigonic friend) and this time, I was somewhere else in the crystal... I was going to a Cave (I would later come to find out that it was the Dead Sea Caves - Cave 4 to be exact) and it smelled like one too (pee u). I was confused as to why I was there... it was smelly, and barren. There were like these earthy hallways that seemed to go no where. I was at the back of the cave and I leaned my hand on the wall trying to figure out why I was there in this cave and my hand seemed to move effortlessly thru the cave wall (without destroying any of the wall at all).
I felt this thing in the wall and pulled it out... it was beautiful... a violet (sort of like crushed velvet) and gold oblong box. I opened it up and in it was a old looking scroll. I opened it up (assuming it was why I was in this cave to begin with) and it was written in what looked like wing dings. I was baffled. I rolled it back up and put it back where I found it. I got out of the cave and the meditation puzzled.
A friend of mine just happened to be researching scrolls (she told me this when I told her about my strange experience). She showed me a picture of the Isaiah (sp?) scroll and I said that was the lettering exactly! And it looked all old like that too!!
So back into the crystal I went, back into the cave, retrieved the scroll again and decided to call on the author to read it to me! I was shocked that Jesus showed up. I mean I had already been learning energy healing via meditation with him for well over a year now... so I wasn't surprised to see him, just that he was the author of this scroll. He said he put it in a very safe place that would never be found, and only those who could assimilate what he wrote/taught would be shown it. I was humbled... and floored!! Me? Little old Lisa?? Why give me this profound information... give it to someone who could do something with it... share it... or something. Nope, he wanted me. Okie dokey pokey. I am in!!
We met every day for weeks, he would read to me from the scroll, my mind was like jelly with the amazing information. It got to the point it was so way over my own consciousness level that I couldn't retain much outside of that space.... and I told him so. He rolled up the scroll when I told him that and placed it in my heart... he said now that information will be with me any time I am ready to learn it. Huh? How do I do that. He never did say. I learned it was all on the job training. The moment I needed to know how to do something, I just knew it... and it all came from my heart.
What is so hysterically funny (at least to me).... it wasn't until 6 years later when I decided to take this trigonic back into a meditation did I realize that what the blessed said to me so many years ago (that interfered with my "experiencing" my mentor) was in regards to this precious crystal!! I laughed out loud and the crystal and the scroll turned golden light energy... and I hadn't seen the trigonic since.
But back to where I left off. When May Day came and all the residents of the hotel had to leave, a friend gave me the privledge of staying at her camp in Vermont. It had no electricity and generator powered running water and no phone. Hey, I am in!! I am excited even.
My life would be changed forever.... no my life had changed forever.
I am going to share this story from my present moment understanding (it will just save me a whole lot of typing). I didn't realize it at the time, but this opportunity to get away from the world and just live on the side of a mountain was really about my transition time. I was moving out of one life and into another. The time on the mountain was simply what we would call the death scene (death can really be exciting!!).
Ascension in this lifetime really means ending one life (without physically dying) and entering into a whole new script of life (without having to reincarnate). And trust me, I knew none of this until this month (5/2009). Spirit has been showing me the ascension process and how to walk it effectively by giving me my own current life review and helping me understand what happened every step of my (blindly going ahead) way.
When I got to the mountain I learned so much, more than I am willing to sit her and type out. But I will say I was gifted two Native American guides who taught me how to build and work a medicine wheel.... one that was going to be my wheel of life transformation. My heart center expanded even more, and life became alive in the feelings of love!
I worked my medicine wheel every day (or at least nearly every day) and communed with the 7 directions and started to really understand the wheel of life, and me. I was so madly in love with who I was becoming that loneliness was impossible. The entire world was alive now... and talked to me all the time.
I would get up and do sunrise meditations outside... and watch my Native elders do beautiful dances around me. I learned to chant (had to to build my wheel) couldn't tell ya what any of the words meant, but I knew it was beautiful.
I spent a lot of time in my center.. the center of my medicine wheel on my wonderful power rock. I learned many things there and was given the greatest gift on my 40th birthday... the divine union of my masculine and feminine selves. It was a sacred marriage and even God was precent for the ceremony. It was amazing.
My incarnation as the angry Lisa Gawlas ended that day. My authentic Self - the true Shawanah that lives within me in every moment was birthed. Everything about me changed. I could not go backwards into my old life. The things I once loved, I now didn't. The things that were important to me (like the contents of my entire house that was in storage in NC, I gave it all away). I gave the oldme away. It no longer served who I now was.
The only real things that remain of the old Lisa are my kids and my sense of humor. I went to work at an assisted living home (let me tell you the old Lisa hated changing baby diapers, the new Lisa didn't cringe at adults who not only wore diapers but smeared their feces all over the walls... and she didn't even mind cleaning it up. And she could touch feet!!! (The Lisa couldn't even stand to look at feet forget touch them). My skin color even changed (my daughter noticed that once we got past our summer tans.) She is polish white (quite pale) when I was standing next to her in the bathroom she noticed how red my skin was... I put my arm next to hers, sure enough, I was red toned. Even tho my father is half Native American, I got every one of my polish mothers genes.... and I was an olive color in the summer and dusty white in the winter. Now I am red! Again, I didn't get a clue until these last few weeks. Spirit has been showing me, blow by blow the significant changes that took place on that mountain side... as I moved out of one life and got myself prepared to the one I am in now.
From there my spiritual abilities just blew wide open. I started developing skills you only read about in books or a good sci fi flick. All the contents of that scroll in my heart really starting coming to the fore. I just knew how to do things. I would get a prompting to put my hands on someone and I knew what to do, and I could read their body and their life like a book.
My journey took me from Vermont to Idaho where I learned to do hands on healing and burn off the last of my "old karma". My Karma was now being created (and is still this way) in anything I choose to do. I had no more baggage in my trunk.
I found a Spiritual Community in Iowa and they let me and my daughter come live there (I really wanted to experience that). I lasted 8 months, and found out what I never ever wanted to do... create followers. Those folks (who were wonderful and soooo gifted) hung on the founders every word and insight... never fetching their own. Of course, he never told them they could... so they didn't. He was afraid of me... hey I could do a lot of things and I learned them all thru meditation, and my experience with my trigonic scared the hell out of him, he wouldn't let me share that story again! I was baffled.... couldn't you just see my light? feel my love? Know how much I love god and everyone? Nope!
I went to visit my son in VA. My two month visit has now turned into 4 years....
I have been shifting and expanding every since I left Vermont... what I understand on the inside, is so hard to put into words on the outside. In my last profound shift (about last of April mid May 2009) I pierced the veil into the Christ Consciousness. My awareness has become so expanded, so just "knowing"... and incredibly excited about where we, as a people, as a planet is heading.
There was a profound experience I had about 2 years ago in my bath meditation. My heart chakra expanded to encompass the entire world, connecting to the entirety of the magnetic grid. (Of course I didn't know exactly what was happening at the time, which has been the nature of my path. It is only from today's vantage point and review, I now fully understand the entire process of my life,) From that time I could hear tones eminating from flowers, had an amazing "creative power" that gave me new meaning to manifesting. But even more interestingly, about a month or so ago, I watched my root chakra change. It was now reflecting the energy of the crystalline grid. I am not sure what that means to me right yet, but as always, time will sure show me and you!!
I know I bring in a brand new energy I have never worked with before... and it is intense and beautiful. I am being directed on my next great adventure and to be able to help people reach this point of their journey in a very direct and efficient way.
I know there is so much more for me to experience... and to continue to assimilate in understanding and be able to put into words. Trust me, as I do, I will share every thing I can either here on this site, thru my podcast, or thru the courses I teach.
Start your day with meditation... end it with joy and gratitude... we are all moving forward.... RAPIDLY!!!!
I love and honor each one of you so much.