Becoming the Witness 24/7 and Embracing the Unexpected!
Boy was I knee deep in a lesson all day yesterday that I didn't even recognize as a lesson until I was on my drive home from the cancer center. I have also fully realized, being a (human) witness in readings, is 10 times easier than being the witness in your own life. My day started out dysfunctional and remained that was until I left my house for my follow-up appointment. First I ran out of time to finish the complete story in my blog, so I published half the story. (Hey, I had at least that part written, why not publish it!! lol) Then my appointments started going a rye thanks to the sudden change to daylight savings time and skype using the cloak of invisibility! We won't even talk about my cell phone dropping an international call each time I attempted to dial it. By this time, I was already frazzled because during one reading, my propane man showed up. I put my guy on hold while I ran outside to ask my propane guy whats up with my tank. I filled it full of propane back in July or August and here it is March and I am still showing 80% full... that has to be wrong. He thought I was cheating on him and getting propane elsewhere... I assured him, I don't cheat!! (smile) He went to the tank and gave it a huge thump... my needle dropped to 5%. Well just shit!!!
I was already at the realization, there is no way in hell I am going to be able to go to Va and PA next month. The little bit I did manage to save is getting pulled out to pay this weekends round of bills. This propane surprise, just assures that the leave date of April 10th has slipped out of my realm of possibilities. Thank goodness the man from the propane company that came is also the owner of the propane company. He wanted to throw some fuel in there for me, I said no. I have got to figure out how I am going to pay for it first. He told me to call him Monday and he will reduce the price of the propane to help me out and make arrangements to let me pay for it. I am so surrounded by angels in my life. When I returned to the man on the phone, whom I held steady at my leg... seems he heard the whole conversation and the thump of a hollow propane tank... he wanted to pay for 100 gallons... hell no! I have been reading for him long enough to know his financial story too!! Why is it men just don't listen (smile)... he snuck me a $100 while I was talking to him. Men!! (That really is said with deep gratitude.)
Instead of being a passive witness thru my day and really feeling the bigger story, nope... I became reactive. Well, as reactive as I get these days. Tears were welling up behind my eyes, I don't want to delay my trip a month, I had it planned to the T! By the time I got to the last reading of the day, and my cell phone kept dropping the call for 10 minutes... I was already so far from center I couldn't read at all.
Thank God I had an hour and a half left before I had to leave for my CT/Blood work follow-up (results)... bath time!! Man oh man did I get a talking to... with love of course... but this is the 2nd time in a week I have gotten a talking to!! First of all, my day went completely according to the plan of spirit, for my bigger lessons. (Love that spirit!!! grrrr) First of all, I have been heaping every single day with readings. Last year, I never did more than three readings in any given day. Now, I am consistently doing 5-6 a day (just trying to keep the rescheduled appointments as close to their original date as possible.) ...and then they talked to me... what I do is not just about reading but about putting the bigger story of what is happening together for anyone interested in knowing it. On any given day, I am taking in way more information than I am able to release the next day. So you are missing so much of the bigger story. Let me tell you, I have become utterly aware of this as I have lost one hour of my mornings share time. Many times, when I am running late in the morning, I will straddle readings with finishing my days sharing, I have not left myself any time for that either. So they (my team) purposely held me back yesterday to half the readings on my schedule.
They even timed the arrival of my propane guy to come check on my tank with someone I would be very comfortable putting on hold to go talk to him. (They are good, aren't they!!) And in this moment, when I had the chance to witness what was really happening with my perceived propane dilemma... the human emerged and proceeded to melt down. And as spirit can only do, in my bath they showed me what really happened. I so love their point of view so much better than my minds point of view.
I didn't just run out of propane... instead they sent someone to help me realize the gauge was stuck (I did bang on it thru out the winter, I don't have man muscles I suppose) and they sent me the owner of the company so help me thru this surprise moment. They also timed his arrival to be on the phone with this man so I would take the needed time to ask him about my gauge. All of a sudden, this is looking and feeling so different from the way I perceived it in the moment. Silly mental me!
So then I had to address my trip. They reminded me of a conversation I had with my dad last year, I told him then I would be back in May to spend a much longer period of time with him. In that conversation, I had no idea why I choose May, except it being after the risk of snows... and my team showed me I jumped the gun due to my own fears, my own worries about my fathers health. There are things I am doing now, required of me now to see thru before my trip. They assured me, my father's health is in their hands and they are pretty good at what they can do too!! Everything is happening for a higher reason, perfectly timed by the Divine within all of us.
They also let me know, the witnessing I talked about yesterday is as important to practice in my (our) day-to-day life as it is in readings. We will never be able to live the full potential of our Soul alive in matter if we are constantly using our minds (un)knowing thru any part of any day.
What I find hysterically funny (in relationship to myself here) we pray for help... demand the universe help us thru... whatever... and our mind (knowing only what it knows) expects the help to arrive in a particular way. In my propane dilemma, the universe already had me fully covered even before it happened, I sent both on their way without accepting the gift each wanted to share in that moment. (I am a stubborn lady even still lol)
Now, again, going in this same vein... which is an important part of this sharing, of my point, as the above. With all the releasing I have been doing the last several years, one of the surprising things that has been releasing from me are my flipping teeth. All the caps I had with the old filling type stuff in my mouth have been falling out, one by one. I have zero back teeth and now chew like a hamster! I got a price last year from my dentist for upper and lower partials. The full price was $1350 each, I was on a sliding scale fee which dropped my price down to $995 each. That is still wayyyy out of my reach, but, I put it on my manifesto. Well, my manifesto fell apart when I went thru my cancer journey. Altho I was grateful I had the money in savings to get me thru my down time... I was officially starting from scratch (again) financially. So when I reapplied for my sliding scale in February, my scale slid lower... yay!! When I was at the dentist two days ago, they pulled all my old estimates out of the computer and reentered them with my new sliding fee scale. Both partials should have reflected $595 each now. Well, a wonderful gremlin got into their computer and their new price for me that was printed out was $264 each! When I looked at that price tears welled up in my eyes. I asked the lady, is this right? She said no... their was a glitch in the pricing system on the higher priced items, but since I have the written estimate in my hand, they will honor that glitched price. Holy shit batman!! I just might get some chewing teeth!!
On my drive home, my team was smiling all the way... singing... "this is how we do it." I fully thought I needed to manifest $2000... and they made magic happen to removed $1500.
So on my drive to the cancer center yesterday, having a good giggle at myself, I contemplated everything.. how amazing everything really is. Just before I reached the exit that would take me to my doctors appointment, suddenly my eyes went up into the sky and I could see this HUGE needle and thread, brilliantly yellow, sewing what looked like a rip in the sky up. The one thing I was sure of... something was finished... done. But what??
My clinical trails doctor asked me if I decided on whether I am going to participate in his clinical trials yet. I told him, I was waiting for March and all the results to be presented before I made a final decision. I told him, if my CT scan is all clear, and my next weeks head to toe check up with my other doc is all clear, then no, I am not participating at all. The look of disappointment was really funny to see. He told me that my CT scan was all clear. All the areas of concern was indeed surgery related and I have nothing unusual happening in my body. My lungs are showing clear!!! Even my incision site and all the under tissue is healing very very well. All of the cancer markers in my blood... down to the normal range. My LDH levels are normal.
I did tell him about my colon prep fiasco saying, I really don't ever want to go thru that again... do I need it? He smiled and said... no. Phew baby!! There was only one area he was concerned about... my red blood cells are higher than normal. Of course, the most immediate blame for that is my smoking and the lack of oxygen... he listened to my lungs... they are perfectly clear. So he suggested losing weight and increasing exercise. Ohhhhh now that... I can and will do!! He ordered more blood tests for when I come back on the 20th to check my red blood cell levels again.
When I got into my car I read my CT report. It was like heavenly music to my ears and body. Even my colon looked "normal." Why would I need a colonoscopy if they could see my colon this way. Obviously my body knew better than the crazy mind of Lisa and the overly cautious (for which I am so grateful) hearts of doctors!!
On my way home, I was getting flooded with communication from both, my body and spirit. The first thing I was told... "this part of your life's experience is now all sewn up." Done. My body chimed in with... you can now release the weight you have accumulated for this moment in time. Really?? God that is exciting to know.
Both my body and my team said, my trip down cancer lane was always a part of my journey. What no one knew, not even my own body, was how I was going to move thru it. So in case I went into fear and chemo... I had plenty of fat cells to draw from and keep me healthy thru that process if I choose it. My test had always been... would I choose love or fear with it. Whatever my choice would lead to my next adventure. Two very very different adventures, but... thankfully, I will never know the path I didn't take. Instead... we chose love!! I loved my cancer and you loved me!! We had it going inside and outside... and in the sea of genuine Love, nothing but Love can exist!!
And now... to break out sweatin' to the oldiest again... and to start trimming down this ass!! This too, is another reason my trip must be delayed. On that note, I have a date with Richard Simmons before my readings begin.
Thank you all, soooooooo very much, for Loving me into the Light and Joy of Pure Health!! What an amazing team we are!!
((((HUGZ)))) of deep gratitude and some serious sweat!! (smile)
Lisa Gawlas www.mysoulcenter.com/energy_readings.html