Judging - E-Motion - Attracting - Outcome. Shattering the Illusion.
I spent the entirety of my day yesterday, expanding concepts and understandings. For me personally, it is the greatest way to spend the first day of my personal New Year. The more I attempted to write, the more the (surface) understandings of what I wanted to share, became clearer.
There are times when my own sharing opens a floodgate of broader concepts and applications that go so beyond what was shared. My last sharing did exactly that, and yesterday, I was flooded!!
There are two elements that are so intertwined together that they may as well be one big thing. Our E-Motions and our relationships. Of course, when we think of relationships we think of something outside of ourselves, other people, pets maybe, our workplace... whatever.
The only real relationship that will ever matter is the self with the Self. If we do not perfect that, then everything outside of us will emerge in the distortion field of life, showing us where we still need to work on ourselves. So much of my memories went back to my first year on this path, primarily my relationship with Franklyn, my buddy from the Pleiades. He showed up the moment I wanted to learn how to channel, how to take loving messages from a highly evolved entity's and bring them thru for all of us. But he was far from just a messenger of words, he became a huge catalyst of refining my own emotional system, of course, I had no clue about any of that at the time. I was just excited to be interactive with anything that felt loving. Before he would utter the first word thru my fingertips (I typed out his messages) I had work to do on myself, releasing judgement and surrounding myself in the vastness of unconditional love.
Judgement and Conditions are so pinned together at the hip, they affect each other all the time and may as well be one. They create the distortion field in our lives. The well of judgement runs deep in the majority of us, it is so ingrained in who we are that we do not even realize the depth at which we judge. In those days, I was so confused on this whole judgement thing and knowing when I was in the energy of judgement, I asked Franklyn to let me know each time I was judging something... anything. Holy shit, my whole life was created out of judgement. I judged others in relationship to what I didn't want for me, without ever even realizing it.
To observe life without judgement is key to where we are at right NOW.
We are here to witness life in motion to learn from it all. Unattached. When we are witnessing life and suddenly feel an emotion in regards to something we are witnessing, we are judging it. A very simple example, lets say you have planted a garden and you are watching all the things you planted grow, when suddenly you see a patch of weeds snuggling up to your masterpiece of creation and you can feel an emotion suddenly take you out of that place of love. It may even be just a subtle little emotion, so subtle and so constant that you may not even be aware of its presence. But the flow of energy knows it there, and from that moment, must bring you more experiences in your platform of life, to clear the discordance.
When we are in judgement of any kind, there is an emotional charge around what we are feeling. The only emotion that will ever create discordance lives on the opposite side of love. We actually create an emotional investment in what we experience. Our food is a huge huge huge source of judgement. This is good, that is bad. In a world created from pure love, no-thing can ever be bad... except as we give it energy to be bad or negative.
Of course, this is how we form collectives of energy around anything. We actually alter the vibration of any given thing when more and more people see it as something negative. But at the end of the day, anything outside of you is simply a reflection of everything inside of you. So if you are holding judgement against any given thing, you are holding that about yourself. Think about this long and hard (inwardly) the next time you have a feeling about something or someone not being "good" for you.
Being utterly aware of our own judgement, our own expectations of life and changing it to the neutral point, for me, was like putting acid on my skin. And even that, lead me into deeper judgement about myself. My own example, that Franklyn brought vividly to my ongoing awareness, was my own judgement of other people's parenting. I desperately wanted to be a good parent, and to me, parenting should be the opposite of what my childhood was like. It didn't even matter that I was doing that too, it was seeing "that" outside of myself, in others, that really pissed me off. What's crazy, I never even realized how much "it" would piss me off, it was just part of my normal make up and reaction.
My emotional field was called to the carpet all day freakin long. Talk about feeling worse about yourself than better!! lol I was judgement on two legs. God bless the judgement I heaped on my kids. I spent years in my bathtub understanding and defusing the emotion surround anything and everything that created chaos in my energy field and at the end of every freakin bath, my judgement was all about me and me alone, everything else outside of, was a mirror back to aspects I refused to look at within myself.
So lets take this out into the general public, I get more trashmail about being against GMO's and the company that successfully created them than I care to ever mention. GNO: Genetically Modified Organisms. Isn't that really, what we are?
The Plieadians came in and altered our DNA to embed consciousness within us, to allow us to become Self Aware. They did not move out the ego, just added a second processor to our Being.
In our human view, we took a perfectly good and natural seed and embedded something unnatural, poisonous even, into the genetic construct. The GMO was designed for the survival and growth of the plant itself, as were we. The more we give energy to what we may deem the negative side of that seed (the round-up gene) the more life we actually give to that part, and the more we have negative emotions towards that, WE remove the healthy from it. We give so much more energy to the round-up than we do the plant life itself, and the plant life looses itself.
We do this to ourselves ALL THE TIME!! We judge our ego (and yet, it is the ego that is the only thing capable of judgement) and long after our soul. We are funny creators!!
Before we can move into the field of Self Mastery, we absolutely MUST become Self Aware. Aware of what we feel, why we feel it and diffuse any and all discordance in our emotional center and taking full responsibility that we are really feeling "that" about ourselves.
In order for us to refine and purify our emotional Self, we really do have to know what makes us tick in every moment of our lives and find the neutral zone within. To observe life without emotional investment in what is happening as we perceive it to be happening.
One of the things that Franklyn said to me that has stuck like glue from that moment to this day "You do not know what is happening in the background of anything or anyone."
Once we fully get ourselves out of judgement, into the neutral zone of witnessing life, together, then the true and life-sustaining emotions will emerge and start to surround your life in their pure form. To experience joy without judgement sounds so nice and IS very nice, but even that takes work and refinement. We, for the most part, surrounded our experience of joy with guilt. There is no other more intense life depleting energy than that of guilt. If we are not busy feeling guilty then often times, there are plenty of people surrounding us to help us feel guilty and because we feel obligated and emotionally connected to others, we often take their energy and own it as our own.
I have found, in my 13 years walking towards Here, there is probably more shoving of the guilt factor in the face of Light than in the dark where guilty pleasures are treasured, even if in secret. Ahhhh the beautiful reflection and movement of getting out of EVERYONE'S expectation and thought forms and Living and Creating 100% from your own inner soul desire!!
Joy without any sliver of guilt. Service without depletion (we do have the right and need to just say no.) Love without expectation and conditions, especially and always towards the self (small s for a purpose.)
The human self is most often the most neglected and often times, the most seriously judged, part of our spiritual experience in created matter. I spent a lot of time this last week reflecting on this body (which houses the ego, one in the same energy field.) It has carried me thru vast experiences of life, of up lifting as well as life depleting emotions, of experiences. It has endured drug and alcohol abuse, sex abuse (of my own doing,) attempted suicides, cancer, feelings of the most intense love, of shared experiences with others on every conceivable level, the breathtaking view of meditation and yet, thru it all... it stands here today, 51 years after sliding into creation, healthy and desiring.
Desire can be a tricky thing too, just as tricky as judgement itself. Our desires are often fueled by external world experiences and concepts. One of our greatest desires comes in the form of relationships. That intimate, unconditional loving relationship, often sought thru someone else. The desire to feel whole, complete, accepted thru the eyes and heart of someone else. In truth, we are actually yearning for our own wholeness, which can only be minimum experienced thru another. Any outside relationship we attract to ourselves is bringing the diverse mirror of inner reflection to our core. In the outside world of attraction, we will always bring to us what we need to see within ourselves, both our magnificence as well as the areas we do not want to look at.
The true desire of our cellular Being, our body itself, is always yearning for the wholeness of itself with Self and thru magnetic attraction, brings our next great adventure to the fore.
I just got finished a reading that really brought even more understanding of this biological desire to an even clearer understanding and how we attract things to us for the experience at hand.
In 1999 I placed an ad on a dating site looking for a man who would not trigger my intense jealousy emotions. So in this ad, I stated very clearly that he had to be single with no children. I could care less that I was divorced with 3 children... my own selfishness and insecurity was bigger than, well, anything. Within 2 days I got a reply from a man who said he was single, no kids, my age and interested and his looks fit my attraction field. Not to mention he lived an hour away, close enough to see each other often, far enough for him to not be at my house all the time. Holy Heaven batman!! We fell in love the moment we met. Madly, deeply in love. He was everything I could have hoped for. Everything. He spent most weekends at my house, my kids loved him and he appeared to love them. I was starting to see forever in his eyes.
Until everything shattered to pieces.
He was married for 18 freakin years and counting. He had three children within that marriage. I was numb. My children were my world, I can see denying the wife... but 3 kids!!??? His reply was he simply wanted to be the man I sought... and so he put on that disguise and was all of that and a bag of chips.
Then he revealed to me what a master of deception he really was. The way he created lies to his wife and kids to be with me and mine every single weekend. The lengths he had gone to live his lie in both worlds (hers and mine) boggled my mind.
He entered my life field one year before my own life entered this spiritual journey and I am humbled at how utterly important he was to my current understanding(s).
It took me a long while to put my shattered self back into some semblance of together again. Back then, I channeled my hurt and pain of life thru poetry. I wrote a poem called "I Stand Alone" as I struggled to fully release him from my shattered heart. Granted, the illusion was I wrote this poem about Matt, in reality, I now fully see how I wrote it about life.I STAND ALONE by Lisa M. Gawlas I stand upon a rock and look up to the sky I put my hands over my face and uncontrollably cry (I was seeking a higher love/relationship, hence looking up to the sky) I stand alone in a crowd and hope to hide the pain I hide behind myself feeling I have nothing left to gain (I put my soul love away, behind me, with the illusion of life shattered, I didn't even trust Me any longer.) I stand next to my love and search deep into his eyes I need to find a clearing on this foundation built of lies (if this doesn't amplify my first full year of meditation, the sheer amount of lies, of deceit of the physical world and foundation of what was once rock solid, collapses.) I stand in front of myself and caress my broken heart I fill with tears of love and loneliness and wish he'd told me from the start (yet the soul never leaves, it comforts and soothes and we start yearning once more, but equally, yearning for the truth, the trust to love again.) I stand in the midst of decision and my heart begins to cry I love him more than anything Oh God, please help me try (letting go of any aspect that our life was a lie, an illusion we kept recreating and yet the powerful pull of wanting that again can reapply keep our heart in shreds.) I stand in a world without him and I can't bear the thought I become alone and empty for he has the love I sought (We seek outside of ourselves all the time for the very thing we want so desperately within ourselves. For as long as we seek outside of ourselves alone and empty is the only true feeling that is happening. A pure message from the soul to seek higher love, wholeness and all-one-ness.)
Our cells are programmed to experience this emptiness until it is fully and wholly filled with the pure, unconditional love of Self, of soul, of Source. In this place, the longing outside of ourselves is (almost) non-existent.
This not to say we become an island, we have incarnated in a landscape of 7 billion people for a reason. The pure exchange of energy together. We are always bringing the bigger picture to each other. We refine each other thru experience and expression. All-ways.
The more in alignment one is with their true life partner, their soul, the more intense the magnetic field produces their next great adventure. However, if there is still in outward yearning within, then the discordance must appear so you can see and feel yourself more clearly and the challenge is, to own, in full truth to yourself, what is happening and why.
So let's just say, many of us are no longer "Standing Alone" but now reside deeply in the quantum field of "Standing All As One," which truly is where the emergence of the Shambhala energies come from. I no longer need you to be chaotic so I could better understand my own chaos (boy, didn't that just liberate a whole group of people from chaos!) so your purity of love shows up in my world of purity to become a living energy of expression. Of creation.
The allowance of our pure and unconditional love of each other, for each other, with each other allows life to blossom into new and as of yet, unexperienced expressions in created reality.
However, let me get back to our body relationship. Our individuated biological fields of energy we call our body's have an innate desire to be the full expression of love, of heaven on earth, it is the very reason it was created. Love yourself, your body, your mind with all your heart. No judgement, no conditions, no deprivations. It (the body) is here to enjoy the fullness of life on every conceivable level and emit that thru the entirety of the earth realm for others to feel and one day, allow themselves to live too.
Well, I have been typing now for 5 hours and I pray, even tho we went in several different directions here, it all makes sense as I end this sharing.
With all my cells firing and love expanding, I am ((((HUGGING)))) us all into the experience of a shared and alive heaven on earth, together!!!
Lisa Gawlas www.mysoulcenter.com/energy_readings.html