Shedding the Long Held Cocoon as Self (re)Discovery Unfolds!
I feel like there is a million things I need to share today and I already know I am going to forget half of them as I open this up. So let me start with something beginning to make itself known via the readings, the expansion of time. As we begin to close out this huge, transformative month of January, the next phase of this wonderment begins with February. I think the only way I have of really describing february is with the analogy of a garden. Everything you planted has sprouted, you may not be able to fully identify what has sprouted in your life, but as long as you put energy into your life in January, I promise you, much has already taken form, like a seedling just popping up thru the ground. The heavenly sprinklers of constant hydration and nourishment are being turned on so your focus is more on play than on watering seedlings you may even forgot you planted. So, to put this more plainly, you job in February is to dance in your garden of life, spirit will keep the rains falling for even more fruit to ripen.
March, phew baby, spring and summer feel like one and the same. Tremendous growth and visible, eatable, yummy fruit aligns so much of your life's garden. Thru a few of the readings these last few days, we got an exciting glimpse into March, the clearest most radiant sun energy I have ever had privilege to witness, shines on your life, on your garden, on YOU. This could easily be seen as the feast of the fruits of your labors.
Spirit seemed to skip over April and May for now and the next thing they started showing some folks, June into summer. I think the only way I have of really explaining this evolution of our expansion of time and garden growing (smile) is by that of someone who has embarked on a weight loss or weight gain regime. You started, adjusted where and when needed, expanded into more of whatever will get you to the goal, reshaped your body, your day, your life... June thru the summer is the initial outcome of achieving this goal. The initial outcome of all you have worked towards, both consciously and unconsciously.
Now for all this to be happening, you had to be and continue to HAVE to be an active participant in your own life, in your own garden. Even if you don't or haven't truly understood what you are doing or have been motivated within to do... as long as you are doing... something, anything different than ever before.
What I am finding out, with a crystal clarity that is just... what prompted me on a particular direction has absolutely little to do with the reason I gave to myself to be motivated in that direction. Spirit, our soul, is still filled with a wonderful bag of tricks it will use to get us where we need to go. Loki at its finest!!
It is no secret I started a weight reduction regime this past year, but then again, I started one many times over the last several years and quite many times simply because after a week, my scale didn't budge an ounce. In May, I decided to do a structured diet called Atkins, by the end of month one, even tho I lost (and kept off) 14 pounds, I tried to eat one more salad after the 60 other previous salads I ate that month and my mouth refused to chew or swallow. I O.D.ed on salads and that ended my Atkins journey. I fully realized I am not a rabbit, hell even the desert rabbits here do not eat greens, they eat bird food. I am a creature of a different kind... but what do I eat and still lose weight. Who cares, I resumed life as usual. grateful I shed 14 pounds.
Until September 7th, without a forethought in my head the night before, even the hour before, weight loss was now an absolute goal. Type in weight loss to your google search, you will find a million and one ways to lose weight, ALL claiming to be the quickest, healthiest, fast and safest way to lose weight. The biggest rage right now is juicing... geez, takes all the joy of eating out as you slurp in your calories and nutrients. Ain't for me. I LOVE chewing, I LOVE taste and texture and all the diversity that comes with separate foods on a plate. Truthfully, blending them all together is not going to give you more of what it naturally has, you can just have more of it combined with other things. I
I bumped into a site that just gave me that overwhelming, V8 (thunk on the head) moment. In a single sentence, it set my new course for weight loss. To lose weight comes down to one thing, take in less calories than you put out in any day. It doesn't even matter when you eat the calories as long as there is a deficit. I am living proof that it doesn't even matter what you eat before bed... cuz I am a night stalker with food and still am, joyfully!!
One could say, having started out at 238 pounds, my soul wanted to do this for health, for more energy, for all the reasons out there to get out of the fluffiness that I became. Not even close.
Not everyone needs to lose weight, maybe you needed to lose stuff in your house, or hell, lose the job that kept you restricted, lose the relationship that seemed to always keep you in one place... for me, it was really all about rediscovery of the person inside the cocoon that was purposely placed around me by me.
The majority of us had arrived at the last quarter of last year, or the first quarter of this year, in our own version of a cocoon. With my own cocoon melting away, more rapidly than I even hoped for, a newer version of me started to stir. Bits and pieces that I had suppressed as I worked out so many kinks in my "persona" and even in my emotional heart, started to emerge.
The part of me that LOVES to kick about this earth in a form-fitting pair of jeans, stated to get excited. When your 238, jeans are there to cover your ass, not show it off!! 55 pounds down the drain later... jeans are an enhancement once again (big sly smile.)
The part of me who LOVES to dance, started to bebop thru her days with a really surprising twist. Before this new emergence, the only time I felt I could dance with any sort of rhythm in my feet was with the help of a few beers, not now, there is a delightful, rhythmic swagger to my step. Holy shit, THIS is new and I like it!! Whatever repression that kept me feeling like an idiot on the dance floor before the liquid inhibitors kicked in, gone, all gone. YAY!! Added bonus to the last 15 years of inner and outer work!!
This past week, as I kicked the door open wide to putting myself out there in the dating world again, I realized with the most amazing clarity, this moment has nothing at all to do with dating or finding someone else. No siree, it really is about discovering how whole, how utterly complete I Am/We Are, now.
Most of you know I went on my first date Friday. The joy oozing in and out of my body as I got ready, literally dancing in between trying on clothes, putting makeup on, re piercing my ears so i can wear earrings again, had nothing to do with the man I was about to meet, but the joy of Being Me, fully, completely, confidently and with a swagger I have never possessed in this lifetime.
Back in the day, what feels like a long long time ago, dating was to fulfill an inner emptiness, like if someone I liked would just hook up with me, I would be complete, I would be happy and feel fulfilled. This is officially different for me. I am already all of that and I feel it in every cell of my body. This was really the focus of my date experience, feeling ME for the first time in this entire lifetime.
Imagine we all have entered a cocoon, very much like the caterpillar who has no idea why he spins a cocoon then enters it, it just does because that is the next stage of its evolution, its own discovery of awesomeness. PLUS, it has a new way of traveling, wings instead of a bunch of feet. The ability to soar to new heights, to see things from a much broader and expansive perspective and to get where you are going much quicker with fewer obstacles!!!
What I have come to realize, I have no idea who I Am now. With that, comes the understanding that I have no idea what I want in this new form, and now is the time to go on expeditions to witness yourself, to feel yourself more fully, more wholey than ever before!
Like the butterfly just out of the cocoon, it goes from flower to flower, feeding, discovering and fertilizing its own larger expanse of living. We are doing the same right here, right now. Push on every single door that becomes available to you. There will be mirrors of your radiance, of your growth, of what fits you now thru every turn. Don't get stuck or caught up in any one thing. This is a time for flying, for movement, for amazing Self (re)discovery on a large, exciting new landscape.
And for those inquiring minds (smile,) yes, I had a nice time on my dinner date. He was very nice, a gentlemen even. It really is the most amazing experience when you out not looking to "partner" with someone, but simply just to be present in the experience of it all. I am discovering my new appetite. What I find interesting and important for all of us to realize... I really really wanted to and dance, we didn't, he's not into dancing much. When i woke up the next morning, doncha know I had a fishie I have been talking to (on plenty of fish, of course) that was a dance instructor who asked me if I wanted to go dancing. Unfortunately, I seen his message the day after, but man, talk about the law of attraction working instantly. I got an IOU from him for another time.
I also gave my first fishie the link to my website, THIS is who I am to my core. Altho he said several times how impressive my website is, the content was never discussed. This will leave a huge gap in future conversations that would really stir my soul. Doncha know the very next morning I had a new fishie write to me asking me if I was an 1111-er, playing in the cosmic consciousness. Yup, yup, yup... I'm liking this new experience called Life!!
Whether we realize it or not, we are sending out signals and activating our magnetic highway of fulfillment simply by showing up, Being Present and enjoying the moment of every new, expanded Self discovery and how amazing your butterfly/bird wings work.
Welcome to Shambhala, you are the most radiant flowers in all this world... feed and be nurtured!! And enjoy the hell out of every single moment and experience!!
I love you all so much and honor you and your beauty upon my life and soul more than I can ever express. Thank you for Being here with me!! And let me just mention here (as spirit throws this final tidbit out today) if you think you know yourSelf now, your looking at yesterdays mirrors.
((((((((((((((HUGZ))))))))) of every wonder-ful thing made manifest to ALL!!
Lisa Gawlas www.mysoulcenter.com/energy_readings.html
P.S. Incase you hadn't seen my last notice, due to unforeseen circumstances, the Spring gathering has been canceled until further notice.
P.S.S. For those not on my facebook, let me share my own metamorphosis with you, may you be inspired in some way. Keeping in mind, I still have a 23 more weight reduction goal to hit before I say... enough.