Honey, I'm Home!! <3

home_again_320 My arrival home yesterday felt like a clash between a high pressure system and a low pressure system.  I pulled into my driveway not at 1 pm on the 5th like was planned, I missed my damn plane by literally one minute, so I pulled into my driveway at 1 am on the 6th.  It didn't matter how tired I was I could feel the energy of the trees and cactus replenishing my entire energy field, rehydrating me and it felt freakin good!!  I woke up yesterday with just a few hours of sleep under my belt, but it didn't even matter, I was so happy to wake up in my little piece of Heaven here on earth, so ready to do a sharing, even more ready to poke my nose out into the field and see the changes that have taken place in the last two weeks.  Nourishment!!  I was so hungry for the pure, loving nourishment of your Light.

I turned on my computer, it booted up, made a loud pop and shut itself down!  What the hell!!  I thought, ok, maybe the battery ran out and needed a charge.  I took my computer to VA (never took it out of my suitcase) but forgot to bring the charger.  I don't think I ever realized just how dependant I am on a computer to keep my days organized, I live and breathe by my computer screen, my online calendar.  Not to mention, my time with you here in my mornings gets my whole body and mind aligned to the energy of the field.  I guess we can look at it as gassing up for the day's festivities, my pre-game!!  I tried to turn the computer back on 30 minutes later, nothing, an hour later, more nothing... well this sux!!  Nowhere in my budget do I have room for a new computer!  2 hours had passed, my computer still dead and dark and it was time for the first reading, thank goodness everyone called me yesterday, but sadly, wherever my computer went, so did my antennas.  I was so damn tired, I had barely gotten 3 hours of sleep, and couldn't spark a connection to save my life.  Dammit.  Not only can I not read, I cannot see my calendar to reschedule anyone.  Am I being punked by spirit??  This is so not funny.  Again, I must say, thank you god for the most amazing, understanding folks who align themselves to my crazy field of life!!

Four hours had gone by, with me pressing the start button on the computer every 15 minutes, ready to go to rent a center after my last call to get a temporary computer until I figured out what was the matter when mine, when suddenly life happened!!  Maybe, it was the emotional alignment that happened.  I could feel it in my core, the desire to please start up... and I even said it out loud, passionately.  Sure enough, it rebooted.  A wave of relief went thru me, that is, until it fully booted up and I tried to open a browser, the computer kept freezing up, I rebooted tried again and again and again.  I have three different browsers on my computer; chrome, IE and firefox all did the same thing.  What the hell??  I ran my system mechanic thinking there might be a conflict on the hard drive, nope.  I ran the antivirus in a deep scan, nope.  What the hell??  I tried all day long and would seem to make a little headway and then it would freeze up the entire computer over and over again.  I finally tapped out, fell deep asleep before evening even hit.

This morning, it was as if nothing even happened yesterday.  Everything is working perfectly.  Weird!!!  Well, maybe not so weird, a big important message/understanding.  Now let me back up...

The first morning I woke up in my daughter's world, I was instantly reminded how big, how heavy and depressing some energies can be.  I haven't felt that heavy since the day I moved from Virginia to New Mexico.  The combined energies of people line the home, and this was not a pleasant living energy.  The rain sure didn't help things!!  It literally rained every single day I was in Virginia, except one.  My daughters housemate had already told me there was a 60 percent chance of rain the day we planned on going to Busch Gardens, I started talking to the weather gods before I even left.  By saturday, the chance of rain on sunday, our Busch gardens play date, went up to 80 percent.  I had already asked I was not about to beg for a rain free day, that comes from fear and not knowing.  Sure enough, it was a perfect day, overcast and dry!!  This day tho, would be more telling than any of us ever realized.

All of us are roller coaster junkies and Busch has I think 11 wonderful, wild roller coasters to play on.  We went on the newest one first, The Tempest which is filled with corkscrew and loopity loop turns, and corkscrewed my head and stomach into  blahhhhh.  Not to mention, just after the first major turn, the car rental keys my daughter was holding in her pockets was now in her hands.  Thank god she caught them!!  I got off so sick to my stomach and silly me, wasn't about to let that slow me down, went on another roller coaster and barely made it to the ladies room to toss my cookies.  A couple of hours later and more roller coasters, I tossed my cookies again.  I tapped out on the roller coasters!!  We closed the park down and at 10pm headed for the car... it seems the first ride of the day was going to be more significant in story telling than we could have ever imagined.  My daughter didn't have the keys.  They got lost somewhere along the many other coasters we rode.  Alamo gave me a fancy car to drive around in for 10 days, one with a push to start ignition.  Not so easy to just get a lock smith out to make another key.  I have got to give wonderful praise to Geico's roadside assistance they spent hours on the phone with us, calling every locksmith known to VA to see if someone was able to make us a key.  Nope.  So we had the car towed to a Chrysler dealership so they could make them for us.  Geico covered us for the extra mileage in the tow... thank goodness, cuz the key was a $266 investment!!  It's crazy that the car rental place gave us both the key and the spare key on the ring, so they didn't have any extras, I did call and ask.

I do want to give more ups to the universe as well, it was the night of the eclipse when we were at Busch and even tho it didn't rain, the sky was filled with clouds, hiding the moon.  As we were sitting on the black top of Busch's parking lot trying to find a locksmith, suddenly the clouds parted for a few minutes at the exact apex of the eclipse, we got to see the deep red beauty of the eclipsed moon.  I love this universe so much!!

Valorie's car has been in police impound since August 2nd and the only reason we would get why they were holding it so long was "going thru evidence."  How the hell much evidence could there possibly be to be holding it now for close to two months!!  I was about to find out.  On Monday the 28th, we were about to find out.  The detective called val and told her she could have some of the things that she needed from her car and set up a time for her to come and talk with him.  Something started to sit a little weird when she said she was bringing her mom and the detective kept trying to talk her out of it, saying she is an adult and does not need her mom there with her several times.  When we were brought into the interrogation room, he read her her miranda rights... what????  Thats weird... well, it was weird until he brought out the portfolio of the evidence.  Holy freakin shit batman, there must have been easy 15 different cataloged images of things that belonged to other people.  He was going thru them, I stood up to look at it all and just cried, I couldn't even hold the tears back.  The tears were a mixture of shit, you just screwed so much of your life along with, this is not a one night spree, but an accumulation of things taken from others over time.  Especially knowing that they had to hold her head up the night she was arrested when she went before the magistrate on August 2nd, she was too stoned to hold it up herself.

All this happened just after her meeting with her attorney to see the video of evidence Walmart had on her.  Her drugs of choice is Xanax and Methadone (thanks to the methadone clinic for turning her on to that) which creates complete black outs and stealing rampages.  She could not remember her Walmart adventures, but the videos showed an all day shopping spree, some in the cart, some in her purse ending as she tried to walk out the door and security stopped her and took her to a room to empty her purse.

The news was about to get any better the next day, her birthday.  She found out she had a capias out on her (warrant for her arrest) for failing to appear at a court date, which was set for failing to appear to two probation meetings.  Fortunately for her, she was in jail when they tried to serve her and the judge dropped the capias.  But when we met with her probation office the morning of her birthday, she let valorie know in no uncertain terms, once she is found guilty on any of the now pending charges, the three year suspended jail time from her first felony charge will be revoked and she will do penitentiary time, no exceptions, she broke probation.  This snowball is getting bigger, we can now actually make an igloo out of it!

The detective tho, was compassionate and said he will not put out a warrant for her arrest until after her birthday.  Thursday, Oct 1st the detective called to say its time to turn yourself in and he let her go until the next day since we had to be at the courthouse anyway for another charge from that same night.  We all thought maybe she would be released under the same bond since it is all from the same night, just more charges have been added.  The detective even said he explained that to the magistrate when he dropped off the warrant Friday morning.  After court, she turned herself in, all of us fully expecting to be reunited in a few hours after she sat before the magistrate and it almost happened that way as the magistrate was trying to figure out bond, some guy my daughter never seen before popped his head into the magistrate's office and said no bond for her.  This man, the magistrate and some lady had a meeting and they all decided to let it up to the judge who issued the bond to begin with.  So my daughter was booked back into jail and remains there awaiting a bond hearing.

When I went back to Valorie's house without Valorie, I swear to god someone punched a massive hole in my heart.  I have never ever felt anything like it and even tho, in this lifetime, thank you dear god I have never had to experience the death of a child, that is what it felt like.  I had to keep reminding myself, I will get to see her and talk to her again.  But my heart was bleeding out and there was no stopping it.  I thought about the several clients I have that have truly lost a child and I kept thinking, it is really unfair for me to feel like this when I KNOW I will see her again.  But, I suppose, in its own way, there is a death happening and not a fast one.  This is going to be a slow bleed out of all life force energy for her, which is not a bad thing, after seeing all I had seen that week, holy shit batman, something has to give!!

The heaviness in the house did not allow for my usual full connection to spirit as I am accustomed to, which makes it all suck even more.  However, it was truly an amazing lesson a reminder of the denser energies that huddle in homes, in landscapes, where light seems nonexistent.  The revelations didn't start happening until I was on the plane heading back to my beautiful, radiant world.  So I will just share them as a story instead of how they each got revealed.

I remembered at the end of August-ish as spirit was sharing, thru the readings, the enormity of the september-october timeline.  Karma flowing rapidly and abundantly, good and what we perceive as not so good.  Those with negative karma will have it all in their face, one way or another.  The 28th, the end of this massive september change out of energy, it all started for my daughter.  Right down to someone stealing her freedom... again, which has become the most important thing to her.  But equally, what we choose to do with freedom matters a lot as well.

I keep seeing things on facebook that confuses me about how people look at their own responsibility in life.  Yes, we are Humans... BEING, but there is a constant motion to Being, so you cannot Be without Doing something.  Love itself is never still, is in constant motion, life is in constant motion, we equally should be in constant motion, evolving into the next great thing.  That does take action, it does take focused action and desire.  During the week I had with my daughter, I tried to get her to watch the DVD I bought for her "The Secret," she didn't feel like it.  I wanted to put on the audio book "The Power" (picks up where the secret left off) she wanted to listen to music instead.

Funny how we can be so focused when we are in time out, but let the world twinkle its distractions, we go about being distracted.

I also understood that yes, she was "meant" to continue to be free, but at the same time, karma had to be paid back, hence the man sneaking into the magistrate's room and taking away her freedom.

Which brings me to a huge pet peeve of mine, I swear those who call themselves "lightworkers" love to live behind rose-colored glasses... a lot!!  When something negative happens... "it was meant to be."  No, not all.  To think every shithole we find ourselves in is the universe unloading lessons on us that was meant to be that way.  We have personal responsibility, cause and effect, mind drive vs heart driven.  We are in duality to choose, not to have the road laid out for us and we just travel down it cuz that's the way its supposed to be.

If we look at the road itself as laden with choice points, some so small they seem unobvious, like watching The Secret, a choice.  We have these choice points embedded lets say, every foot of the road we travel, and each choice changes the road in front of us.  Nothing is laid out except by each choice or non choice we make.  WE are creating the path before us, now more than ever before.

When so many people put on my facebook that where she is at now was meant to be, there is a higher reason for it... good knows it pissed me off!!  The first 10-15 postings I let slide... then I just blew up!!  The morning after I blew up (smile) I was taken back to a time in my life when spirit tried to warn me about a danger I was getting me and my kids into.  I know I was given this memory because I went to sleep asking... well is this meant to be or not, because the way I felt, I would say no not at all... but hey, I am rather close to the subject matter here.

Back in the mid 90's a (casual) friend lent me money so I could pay my rent.  The next thing I know, we was talking relationship and moving in with me and my kids and at that time, long before this path, I had no strength inside of me to say no, I don't want that at all.  So of course I said ok.  I wasn't interested in him at all, but entered a relationship anyway.  For one week straight, I had dreams at nighttime warning me to remove him from our lives.  The dreams changed energy night in scenario, but the outcome was always the same, remove him from our lives or our lives will be destroyed.  I assumed I was just working thru the stress of having a man in my life, in my house, that I really didn't want there.

The man was freakin psycho.  Several months later, he really did destroy our lives and did it with a smile.  Was that meant to be???  Hell freakin NO!!!  We are allowed to make asinine choices and deal with the consequences of those choices.  I have even seen in readings where guides just threw up their arms allowing whomever I was reading for, to force their agenda no matter what came thru the reading.

Yes, there is always something to learn from any scenario we choose, but many of the lessons we add in, not our teams!!  So it is time for us to take responsibility to say, ok I created this funk in my life, let me uncreate it... do something different, radical even.  Not more of the same, if you really want things to change in your personal world.

But then again, your soul does know there are many many other incarnations to get it right, to get it fluid and joyful and flowing.  This is not a one trick pony lifetime where everything is as it should be for the soul evolution into mastery!!

We also must be very mindful where we find ourselves too.  Huge huge lesson/remembering for me this past week or so.  Karma always flows to the one (or ones) in lesson and to truly assist in real-time, we must be willing to lower our vibration as well.  Just like our guides have to do as we are starting to raise our thru meditation.  A meet in the middle kind of place.  Which is why I was so aware of the heaviness in my daughter's house and had to adjust to its vibration as opposed to forcing mine into it.  Altho, by the very presence of my body there, it was raised a bit, but not so much to take anyone out of lesson.  Knowing what is ours to change and ours to guide is crucial.

For myself, I know something is changing with me.  The energy in my left leg yesterday was close to unbearable.  It started in my thigh and butt, like I did the stair master for 10 hours straight, almost to the point of unbearable.  I ran a bath just to sooth the leg itself and the moment I laid in my tub, the strangest sensation happened.  It was like a massive volt of electricity came flying out of my big toe between the nail and the skin.  That was unpleasant.  My mind was still too exhausted to do a meditation (I tried) and the water was just making my left leg more sensitive so I got out.  The rest of the day it was just weird and only on my left leg (physical life path).  The skin was super sensitive to the touch, the muscle groups, the bones themselves all radiating electrical currents (unpleasantly) from the touch.  It lasted until I passed out.  This morning... much better.

I pray, just like my computer is now miraculously working fine, so will I!!  On that note, its time to get ready for my day!!

I have missed you all so much!!  It is great to be back with you again!!  Big big ((((HUGZ)))) filled with radiant love light to all!!!

Lisa Gawlas   www.mysoulcenter.com/bookreading.html