The Fractals of Life and the Release of the Equinox Energy, Amplifying!!
Another 4am morning, but today, instead of hearing the insistent pleadings from my mother saying "Lisa, I'm hungry" instead, I awake to her large but frail frame struggling to get into the doorway of my room. That kinda scared me. She was heading to my toilet, a far far journey for her. She forgot that I put a hat in her toilet to monitor her bathroom releases and insisted that her toilet doesn't, even when I told her it did and reminded her of the hat, she was already focused on using my toilet. Alrighty then... of course she got stuck on my toilet. Between being completely out of breath and not having the 4 inch high rise on the toilet seat, she could not get up and I was of little help to get her up. Time for me to start weight lifting or something. I called on my team, put my arms around my mothers back and whooosh, up and off the toilet she came. The trek all the way back to her bed had me holding my breath. If she fell, we were screwed. Of course, hospice gave me the number to call in the event she fell, 5 strapping men would come to get my mother back into bed.
Got her into bed, put some food and morphine into her system, fed the damn cat, who has become so needy and whiney. I finally got my coffee came outside and pouted.
As I awoke from my slumber yesterday, to my mothers voice, it became vividly clear that last week, those few days I was absolutely sure mom was in the midst of making her transition, she opted to stay a while longer, her rebound, which I have got to continue to give credit to the anonymous box of Godiva chocolates that came via UPS to her, as the cure, because from that moment on, it was like my mother became a rose blooming one more time. She has been awake and alert much more thru the days.
When I am not having my own selfish (and yes, little s there) moments of saying shit... I cannot do months more of this, I can see and fully understand the bigger picture. There is magic happening, I can see it, I can feel it and more than my tiny, occasional selfish moments, I so appreciate it. The allowance of being loved. This seems like a little thing, but really it is energetically transforming.
Her life, our life, is surrounded by an in pouring of love. All her birthday cards are opened and displayed all thru out her room, the gifts that come in she holds in her hands before I set them somewhere. Every ounce of it, without conditions or expectations, just because she IS. I have watched how she takes in this energy. I do not have the capacity to put the details into words, but it has changed her from the inside out in truly miraculous ways. Equally tho, it has done a similar thing to my aunt that lives a few streets over. She is now visiting my mother more often, several times this week. My mother insists that its her guilt, which was probably true in the beginning, but as I explained to my mother, I am really good at reading energy and Aunt Joan is here because she loves you. I could almost feel the relief within my mothers field.
For all of this, I am so grateful to not only witness, but be a part of. Yet... my own inner restlessness is stirring and dare I say, amping up my own aggravation for the ongoing limbo of my life. So as I came out here on the car port to have a smoke and pout a bit, my team showed me more details of little visual understandings I have been getting this last week. I have tried to write about them all week, but between my increasingly dysfunctional laptop and my mother calling me... well...
I have found a great image to help explain what I have been seeing and understanding to this point:
Let me say this from the get go, one place is not better or worse than another. We are all scattered about all places, as needed, all timelines. If we look at the outer fractal, what we are going to call individuated timelines which really are frequency of existences, or simply... area 1 (to save my typing) and to make this more understandable, of course I will lean on my own journey and understandings. In the beginning of this year, the first quarter of pure energy, I was living on one of the area 1 fractals, doing what I do and enjoying it. Equally understanding that the energy of the first quarter was to get us ready for massive choice points and changes of venues in our lives, if we allowed for it. Free will is NEVER taken away. It may be squeezed to the best advantage point towards soul growth, but never taken away.
As I/we (and there is no timeline for any of this, it is always energy packages and not associated with any illusion of time) moved into the 2nd quarter, we also started to move towards the center of the fractal we were on. The place figure three is calling no time, a reconfiguration of our on going life points. We could all see how this played out in my own personal life with my daughter and grandson showing up in my life on mothers day after a 4 year estrangement. Little did I see the enormity that would unfold, but hey, spirit keeps us blindfolded, a lot!! But having my daughter come back started to reconfigure all of our choice points (mine, hers, everyone that would be involved in our lives, to include, my mother.)
When my daughter landed on my mother's doorstep, she placed herself in the area of figure 2, the conclusion of many lifetime events that had an opportunity to completely finish up.
When she called me to tell me of my mother's true living and health conditions, my own timeline exploded (into vibrational energy) and with my choice of helping my mother one way or the other, my life came out of the fractal energy it was happily within and came plowing into the conclusion area. However, with free will of my mothers still very much at play and her free will was standing behind that wall of anger, we had to reconfigure her timeline. If her mind and body wasn't in such a weakened state already, I am not sure it would have been as easy as it was... but her energy had to move off the timeline (figure 1) that she had been living on, completely taking her into the center (figure 3) and spitting her back out on a timeline where we had healed the energy between us and she was ready to open to my presence in her world. This happened with a lot of effort from my daughter as well as her sister in Pennsylvania. Which means, they equally had a foot on that timeline already. Talk about living multidimensionally!!
Now lets take this one step further (as I am not getting this understanding) back in 2011 I wrote my mother a letter trying to get myself back into her life, or anyone of her grandchildren. Had she accepted that invitation then, the plane we opened up recently, would have unfolded in her/our consciousness. However, she declined the invitation, so beyond this consciousness, all that needed to play out, did, but in a whole other timeline of existence beyond this particular fractal of consciousness. HA!! Think about that for a moment, this particular fractal of consciousness. Wow, I never thought of it like that before, yet... seeing it and understanding it now, of course it makes perfect sense. Going with the elongated spiral fractal, it is designed so that one fractal can easily fit into and blend with another. So when we merge timelines and conclusions, the mind does not see what happened to get there, it is just there.
Let me back up to 2011 tho, as I just realized this. At the time of writing that letter ( and including lots of pictures) to my mom, I was living off the grid in a trailer in the desert in south albuquerque. A few months later, I moved back to my roommates world, then moved back to virginia to be with my son, got spit out and moved 3 months later back to new mexico. I could not figure out where I was supposed to be, now I fully understand that unsettled feeling thru 2011 was the potential of reuniting with my mother. Instead, I found my heaven January 2012, until the next opportunity presented itself to be Here.
So yesterday, as I come outside (my new really hot, refuge) and try and get myself down off the mound of guilt for just thinking, I don't want to do this for months, but to be clear, I will, without hesitation, I decided to pull the weeds in my mothers flower box in the front, since my aunt informed me if I don't, we will get a ticket by the office. Great!! I gotta go kill plants that look pretty to me cuz there are rules around that here. (Hear me grumble lol, I miss my free growing desert.) And then these crazy memories with new twists started to infiltrate my awareness.
My mothers primary horpice nurse, after being here two days in a row to check on my mother said there is a chance my mother may be here for a couple of months, if this sudden burst of energy isn't just a rally. Instantly my whole Being deflated and my mouth was already sending off the words "I don't know if I can do this for a few more months, just sitting here." She had said there are options, I can put my mother into hospice, once, for 5 days to give me a break to get my own stuff done. She hinted about me returning to New Mexico for that time, or my mother could go into hospice. Neither will happen because instantly I could feel the decline of my mother simply by leaving her house and what she has come to know here. I thanked her nurse and with appreciation just said, I couldn't do that. I am in this for the long haul, here, with my mother.
So as I am plucking really pretty weeds getting ready to open tiny little yellow flowers (how are these weeds???) there was a culmination of timeline (non)memories wafting thru my consciousness. In the timelines my mother and I shared together in this ongoing consciousness, every time my mothers life was disturbed or should I say, inconvenience, I went to live with someone else, usually foster care. The choice (not from guilt, which was only fleeting within me, but from the depths of love) to stay by my mother, thru to the end, changed all of our timeline outcomes. That is to say, completely voided any and all (negative) karma that was waiting another lifetime to be transmuted. That is one of the huge gifts of residing in the area (3) of no time. When we choose via the heart mind and not the ego mind, it changes everything, completely.
So this morning, again, for the 2nd day in a row, I came outside and pouted and this time, asked my team to help me understand this moment, the longness I feel in this moment. My whole heart expanded when they showed me... my mother and I in the space of the inner most fractal, dancing a waltz together. There was no sound, no words, just grace and fluidity. and such profound love.
You and I, being in the human suit, look at months as forever long, to spirit, it is less than a blink of an eye.
Coming into this week, I cannot even remember which days it was now, but for about 2 or 3 days I could see two sets of hmmmm lines, a bunch of them, The top layer of lines, spread out in a circle were black, the ones below the black ones were a metallic gold. They were spinning around and I was in the center. I decided I guess I should pick one since the visual is always the same. I stepped on a metallic gold one, that was the last time I seen that visual and I knew I did something, but no clue what. At least, until this morning.
For two days now, I have been so restless inside myself with tinges of aggravation (pesky humanness gotta be there too ya know lol.) And this morning, I realized that what I am feeling is the energy of the equinox coming up on the 22nd, now pulling us into our next grand adventure. The magnetic doorway is now wide open, will be for the next thru the 21st, as the energies intensify as the doorway closes on the 2 days preceding the equinox (thru the end of the 25th.)
If I am understanding the ongoing visual, the black lines (pure human-based experiences) and the metallic gold lines (pure spirit in human form experiences and even describing it this way, is so inaccurate, but as close as I can get right now) are intertwining to become one massive fractal expanding. This is unlike any of our timeline/frequencies experiences the earth realm has ever known. I think the simplest way to explain what I am seeing, is if we took a song, any song and instead of listening to the song over 3 minutes, the entire song plays in a nano-second, all at once if you will. With it will come many crazy, wonderful and more than likely, disheartening experiences thru 2018 (that's one hellofa long nanosecond lol) the sound of pure spirit will be seeping more intensely to the human realm (those on the black line will be having experiences, intensified, as those on the golden lines.) Those not energetically equipped to handle the speed up of frequencies will simply leave the body and go back to the other side. Those of us walking the golden timelines will open to more spiritual energy than ever before, in ways unheard of before. So with that, I have no clue what I am talking about (smile.)
The intensity of magnetic attraction will be so over the top intense as we maneuver this next amplified, extraordinary phase of growth in the human realm.
I had this odd, crazy desire this morning, which of course, I gave into. I made some homemade bread with the intention of the yeast to pull the magnetic fields of all good things into itself and disseminate itself to those who eat of it. I have never ever done that before. Lets see what rises from it!!
Well this day is well under way and my computer is about dead again. So I will leave on that note and say, I am not aggravated any longer, instead, in such deep and wondrous gratitude that thru it all... Here we are!! <3
I love and miss you all like crazy. I hope I have gotten an email out to everyone on my dance card, if not, I did put a note on my main and reading page that until I finish this dance with my mother, I am not doing readings. Of course, I will get a reschedule notice out on the other side of this journey as we expand into a whole new phase of Living!!
Big big ((((HUGZ)))) of beautiful magnetic fields of amplification to and thru All!!!