The End and the Space Before the New Beginning.
bbedHoly heavens, what a wild, wild journey this has been. But finally, on October 3rd my mother finally surrendered to the next journey, but not without a fight. She entered a state known as terminal restlessness at 12:35am Oct 1st and that was the last of her or my sleep. Sunday morning the angels of Hospice came to my rescue and had a nurse here 24/7 until my mother's passing. Even with them upping her anti anxiety, anti psychotic and morphine doses, placing her into a deep sleep, my mother fought letting go. Monday morning tho, with the first full nights sleep under my belt in close to a week, I had some brain cells to use, some energy to use to help my mother let go, vacate the premises. At first, I didn't even realize what I was doing. I would go to her feet and stroke from her feet upwards to mid calf with my hands. I did this several times during the course of the morning. It wasn't until the hospice nurse asked me if my mother liked having her feet rubbed did I fully realize what I was doing and then was able to do it consciously. I said to her, I have no idea if she likes her feet rubbed, but what I am doing is releasing the energy that is binding her to the earth realm and pushing up her body. In realizing what I was doing, my team turned my vision on for the process. I could see short dead roots out the bottom of both arches of her feet. They were surprisingly short for someone kicking around the earth for 73 years. In last nights sleep, I got to understand a lot of things that my mother gave to all of us thru this exchange. I will get to all that in a few. As I was gently pulling the energy up and out of her feet and pushing it up her legs, I became aware of a light Being up at her head, pulling up thru her crown the energy I was pushing up. Talk about your reverse labor!! A couple hours later, with my hand in hers, she took her last breath at 1:55 pm. However, because her heart rate was intense (over 200 beats per minute) all morning long, it took another 5 minutes before it beat its last beat. She was pronounced dead at 2pm.
Besides my handy energy work, I decided to put on an audio book for her to listen to, to help release any of the fears or reservations she has about fully letting go. I played "My Life After Death: A Memoir From Heaven" By the beautiful Erik Medhus (Of Channeling Erik.) I tried to get her to listen to this book when she was much more alert, but she wanted to hear nothing of the other side, even stating "I want to be surprised." Well, obviously, she needed as much reassurance as she could get and since I am still on this side of the veil telling her of the wonders of where she is going..., maybe Erik can help since he was on the other side letting us know how amazing and non judgemental that side really is, not to mention all the adventures he had before he crossed fully over. I do feel in my heart, that helped tremendously too. The additional beauty of playing that book, the hospice nurse was enthralled with it, stating she never heard anything like it before and made a point of writing the title down to pick the book up.
A few minutes after her death, I heard her say so clearly "Wow, I look like shit." I had to laugh, yeah it was a long fight, but now your free mama! Really really free. After the hospice nurse got her dressed and ready to go, I tried to take some pictures, asking her to sit on her body so I can get her as an orb. My note 5 sux for orb pics so I decided to do the video... and there she was, flying around her body, along with another spirit or two. I posted the video on my facebook to share the wonders of life and life.
I am adding this video after I initially published. I wasn't going to share it here, but I am being pushed over the edge to include it. So, here is my beautiful, free mama and company flying free:
The hospice counselor came to see me yesterday and I showed her the video, she was amazed! She also gave me a revelation that I did not even get until she pointed it out. A couple days before my mothers death, one of the nurses asked me what I wanted her dressed in when she passes. Dressed?? She's getting cremated without a viewing... dressed?? That never even crossed my mind. I talked to my aunt in PA about what I should put on her and she had the perfect idea, her blue dolphin shirt since that is what she wore just about every single time we went out. So yup, she was adorned in her blue dolphin shirt, her bad hair day hat and a pair of shorts.
I also realized I need an urn. With the cremation they only give you a cardboard box to take your loved one home in so I have that task to do. Up until these last few days, I was going to plant mom in the yard, near her 4 cats that she buried, simply because having someone dead in my space gave me the heebie jeebies. But this time with mom changed that fully for me. I will keep her inside and I had to find an affordable urn but I didn't want want looking like an urn. And I found the perfect one, of all places... walmart.com!!!
Her ashes will be swimming with the fishes!!! The hospice counselor noted that she has the dolphins on her body and the fishes on her urn. Ohhh how kewl is that, I didn't even get that connection. The sea of life will embrace her and love her energy imprint within this realm as she flies free in the other realm!!
Yesterday was more emotionally hard for me than I anticipated. I miss her, but also, my heart just breaks thinking about how she existed the last several years. Also, I needed reassurance that she fully crossed over and wasn't going to linger on this side. I even told her several times, you make sure you cross over, no staying here and haunting me!! lol (She did threaten to do that, with a laugh.) My team showed me that they sucked her into the light and she fully crossed. I was grateful.
As I was standing at the bathroom mirror brushing my hair and teeth and crying, again, just thinking about how alone my mother was, she came to my rescue. I could see a much more vibrant mother standing in that same mirror getting all ready to go out and have a good time. She reminded me it wasn't all bad and that she had good times and to stay focused there. ...I'm trying maw...
I woke up this morning with such clarity of why I had seen those roots beneath my mothers feet and what it means to all of us. When we are living healthy lives on earth, our root systems should be long and deep and intertwined within other roots (each other.) However, when our ego leads every move, our roots are short and thick nourished only by ground water instead of the depths of the earth. If it doesn't rain, if no other water moves into your world, they dry out and rot, as does the body system.
We are also in a rapidly changing ecosystem as well. There are those whose roots are deep and nourished and nourishing yet, their bodies take up take up various diseases. They are the strongest souls as they are cleaning up the remnants of disease in this realm, transmuting it with their love field so in times to come, we will not see or experience the outbreak of disease like we do now. I want to make this point clear, because in our own desperation to understand ourselves, we have labeled every disease... dis-ease and that is not always the case at all, not any longer. We have the highly advanced souls taking on various diseases to love it out of existence. For those other souls whose roots are shallow, well, we come in to take up the task of loving.
Between my own cancer journey, my father's and my mother's, I have a brand new appreciation for cancer. It is amazing what good it can do. How healing it can be because, unlike being hit by a bus, it allows for so much resolution and reflection while still in this realm. My mother is living proof that even the most closed off person can be restored to love. If she wasn't, she would have had zero fight in her. She felt each and every one of you, of us and drank us in.
I must say again (and again and again) thank you for loving us so unconditionally, so unexpectingly. You truly have given to the fountain of life in ways we will all only fully understand on the other side of this amazing veil. Thank you for Being YOU!!
As I awoke yesterday, I felt like I was in another realm. Like I woke up in a new place, which lasted only until I moved my body to get out of bed, but I had to pay attention to that feeling, that.... KNOWING. We have all transcended to another plane of Life, together. As I headed out to the coffee maker, my team clearly said (before I even started thinking of it, they know me so well) no work, no readings until the October 15th. Wow, the 15th?? Thats a long ways away!! They repeated it. OK. There is nothing that my team asked of me that didn't (eventually) make sense. I go back to being pushed out of New Mexico and now, I clearly see why and am so beyond grateful I trusted it (the force to go was 100 times stronger than any desire to stay lol.)
There is plenty for me to finish up here. I am going to finish going thru my mothers things, I am going to hire a cleaning company to do the big, deep cleaning that is needed. The task is too big and will take more energy than I have to give at this point. I have got to go before the board and let them know I am staying. One of the guys in the office told me (when I went to pay October's maintenance fee) that I will have 30 days to vacate after my mother passes since I am 10 months too young to live here. At least I can now approach this fight with the title to my mother's home in my hand with my name on it. The title came yesterday.
I am going to be changing my work calendar with new days and hours, so please do not reschedule yet. I will send out an email to everyone when it is time to reschedule, when I have my ducks in a row. I will also post it here, on my website as well as on facebook. And can I say thank you for waiting over 3 months to get to this point of reconnection. I talked to my mother in depth before she got sick, about how incredible you all are. So many people already paid me for readings they are having to wait for and yet, they opened their hearts and purses to make sure you are taken care of. And the out pouring of birthday love... you drenched my mother and you drenched me too!!
Well my computer is having fits so I am going to close before it completely crashes. Again, (I really need new words lol) thank you so much for loving us so completely, so unconditionally and breathing new life into our lives and into the whole of Life!!
Thank you mama for the profound gifts your life has given to all of us. I love you, have all-ways loved you so damn much!!
Big big big ((((HUGZ))))) of eternal love and gratitude to ALL <3
Lisa Gawlas and her mama Julie <3 <3